When You're Ready

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You are standing outside of Emily's work and frankly, it's a little intimidating. You have never been here before and you wouldn't even be here now if Emily hadn't been in such a rush this morning. Granted that might have been partially your fault given the fact that you didn't want her to leave your bed. But anyway, she had left her go-bag at home so you figured you would bring it to her.

As you step out of the elevator, you see a group of people standing around a desk. The group is made up of a tall lanky man, two blondes, an African American woman, an older distinguished gentleman, and two bulky men. Emily has told you about them, even though you have never had the chance to meet them. You have even seen pictures so you know that these people are Spencer, JJ, Penelope, Tara, Rossi, Luke, and Matt. They glance up at you as you walk in and the perky blonde, Garcia, walks over to greet you.

"Well hello, beautiful stranger, what brings you to our neck of the woods." You give a small laugh and hold up the bag.

"Em left this at home, I was just bringing it to her." Just as you finish your sentence, Emily walks out of her office and notices you talking to her teammates. A look of panic flashes in her eyes and she rushes over towards you.

"Hey, (Y/N), what are you doing here?" She asks you. You hold her bag out to her.

"I thought you might need this, so I figured I would bring it down," you notice the worried look in her eye, "Is something wrong?" You ask.

"No, nothing is wrong just surprised you're here is all. Thank you." She says as she takes the go-bag out of your hand. You can sense that something is off so you search her eyes for something that she is hiding. Rossi clears his throat and you remember that there are other people in the room.

"So, Emily are you going to introduce us to this fine young lady?" You blush a little at Rossi's kind words and reach out to shake his hand. You open your mouth to introduce yourself but you are cut off by Emily.

"This is (Y/N). She is just an old friend who is just staying with me for a while." She says nonchalantly. Your hand falls limp in Rossi's and the smile quickly falls from your face. You glance over at Emily, but it seems like she is looking everywhere except at you. You notice everybody staring so you plaster the smile back on your face and decide to roll with whatever game Emily is playing.

"Uhm, yeah, my apartment is being fumigated, so Em is letting me use her spare bedroom for a couple of nights." The team gives nods of understanding but before anything else can be said Emily is grabbing your arm and ushering you out.

"I'm just going to walk her out, I will be right back" She calls over her shoulder towards the group. You throw a quick wave behind you as the team calls out their goodbyes and let yourself be swept away by Emily. Once the two of you are in the privacy of the elevator you jerk your arm out of her grip.

"Em, what was that?" You ask her. She looks at you like she is surprised by the question. Ignoring your question altogether she says,

"I didn't expect you to show up here," She says as she runs a hand through her hair.

"I didn't know I wasn't allowed to" You respond as you cross your arms over your chest. Emily reaches out and pulls you into a hug.

"Of course you are allowed to, I just need some warning ok." She gives you a light kiss on your forehead before the elevator opens and she walks you out of the door.

"See you at home." Was all she said before she turned around and walked back into the building, leaving you standing on the sidewalk stunned and hurt.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

You hear the door click, signaling Emily's entrance. You got off of work hours ago, but instead of spending your time doing something productive, you have been sitting at the kitchen table holding your coffee in your hand, watching as it gets cold.

"Hey (Y/N), where are you at?" You hear Emily ask as she walks through the apartment.

"Kitchen," You say back.

She walks into the kitchen and sees you sitting at the table. Walking over to you she bends down and kisses the top of your head.

"What's wrong babe, you seem tense." She asks you as she starts to rub your shoulders.

"Did you mean it?" You ask her quietly. You feel her hands stop moving and she moves around to sit at the table with you. Once she is sitting down facing you she asks.

"Did I mean what?" You pull your eyes away from the cold coffee in front of you and force yourself to look at Emily.

"I am "Just a friend" to you Em?" You see her roll her eyes in response to your question.

"Come on, you know you're more than a friend that is just what I told the team. So what if they think you're only my friend. It's no big deal." It is those last three words that shoot fire up your spine. No longer able to sit still you get up from the table and walk into the living room. Emily quickly follows after you.

"Are you really upset about this?" She asks you as she reaches out to grab your hand. She pulls you around to face her and she sees the tears starting to brim in your eyes.

"Yes Em, I am really upset and I thought you would understand that. We have been together for two years Em. Two years. After everything we have been through I thought that the love you had for me was as strong as the love I have for you but you're still referring to me as a friend? I don't want to be your secret Em."

"Well, what do you want from me?" Emily shoots back, "Maybe I'm not ready to announce it to the world yet." You jerk your hand away from her and walk off towards your shared bedroom. You move towards your closet and grab a duffle bag. Just as you start to pack up your clothes Emily walks in. She notices what you are doing as she is standing in the doorframe.

"What are you doing?" She asks with worry in her voice.

"I told you Em, I am not going to be your secret. You say you're not ready, that's fine, I am not going to force you to do anything you don't want. But I am ready, and I just can't be with you right now if you aren't. I think we should take a break Em." After putting the rest of the basics in your bag you grab your laptop and phone charger and push past Emily to head downstairs.

"Where are you going to go?" She calls after you. You stop dead in your tracks with your hand on the doorknob.

"Maybe I will go stay with a friend," you spit out emphasizing the last word. "You can find me when you're ready." With those last words, you open the door and make your way outside, leaving Emily standing all alone in her living room. After you close the door you pause for a second thinking, what the hell did I just do?

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