Daddy - An SVU fic

70.Spiraling

Chapter 70

She was in love! Totally, honestly, completely in love. She looked down at her daughter lying beside, her beautiful, newborn daughter and she silently wept. She'd never been so enamored as she was at this moment. And as she stroked the baby girl's hand, she was overcome with emotion.

She'd been alone with her angel for three whole days, and she savored every minute of that time. She'd come early, three weeks by Olivia's count, but she was okay. After several long hours of labor in which she fought like hell to be quiet, she pulled herself into the empty bathtub when she felt the baby coming down. While preparing to give birth, she just prayed that she and the baby would come through this.

Her mom was there. And though she knew in her head that she was just imagining her like she usually did, just thinking of her mother gave her comfort as she strained through the agony of another contraction and let out a long, pained cry. She was getting weaker with every hour and she couldn't think of anything else except the contractions.

"Breathe Olivia!" Serena said as she held her hand. Olivia tried to calm herself and get through it but she couldn't see or think straight.

"You've got this Olivia, focus!" Beachhouse said. She kneeled in front of the bathtub while Sealview wiped her brow.

"Please God, I don't wanna do this here..." She whispered as she cried.

"Olivia, you have to-" Serena started as she stroked her face, moving her hair back but Olivia just groaned in pain, cutting her off.

"No, it's...it's coming out!"

"...and I can see the head!" Beach house smiled.

"I can't do this!"

"You can, you're strong, Olivia and we've got you. Do you hear me? Now come on, have to push!" Sealview said urgently as Olivia slowly turned to get into a squatting position as her mother held her.

"Now sweetheart, come on, you can do it!" She said as Olivia gave an earsplitting cry while she pushed with everything she had,

"That's it, Olivia, you're doing so good!" Sealview cried.

"Oh god, it hurts!"

"I know darling, but you can do this, do you hear Me? Now you push, Olivia!" Her mother said to her while she squatted in the bathtub and focused on delivering her baby.

"Oh Goddd, ohhhhh godddddddd!" She cried. "please help me!" She screamed and begged everyone around her as she struggled to push the baby out but the head was so big. If she could have crushed the cast iron and porcelain of the old tub, she would have, she was gripping it so violently.

"Livvie, the head is right here, push harder... PUSH OLIVIA!"

"I'm trying, I swear!" She cried weakly. She was too exhausted, too frail, and no matter how bad it hurt, and no matter how much she cried out at the pain, or how badly she wanted for it to be over, she couldn't get the baby to come. Maybe this was for the best, she thought. She couldn't keep the baby, boy, or girl no matter how bad she wanted it. Harlan had already made plans for it. But still, she wanted this baby more than she wanted her freedom! She'd grown to love this baby over the months, so much and although she knew that she couldn't keep it, she wished. Every day she'd talk to it; she'd sit in the corner and tell him or her how much she loved them, reminding herself and the child that they wouldn't be together for much longer but that the world was still a good place. She'd tell it all the hopes and dreams she had for it in spite of how she got pregnant. Maybe if the tables had been turned and she had gotten out of here, she could have had an abortion; even grown to hate this baby but life had other plans. Now she couldn't imagine life without it even though either way... But she had to believe that either way this swung, he or she would be okay. Even if she wasn't around to see it.