Chapter 32: 5 months of hell

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The next few weeks were hell. Absolute hell. I was starting to lose my fight. I was starting to want to give up, and just get back on an obscene amount of medication again. Sure I was not at half of what I was but I don't know how much longer I can fight full force the demons in my head. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Even with that said, without fail every time I felt like I was about to break one of my boys was there. Threw every panic attack, flashback, or whatever it was someone was always there. I absolutely loved how they all care for me during and after in their own ways.

Jin always holds me to his chest, while swaying back and forth while humming spring day. Then after he takes me to the kitchen where he either gives me something sweets, or bakes something with me. My favorite korean dessert so far is Dasik, which are tea cookies.

Then there is Yoongi who talks me through the panic attack, and breathes with me. He then takes my hands in his and leads me to his studio, whether it be the studio at home or genius lab, where he helps me with my own songs. I'm currently working on my debut title track. It's going to be about a land of dreams and running for your dreams. Much like I'm running to my dreams, my debut and future career. Yoongi has been teaching me the absolute basics of producing, which I'm not very good at. I'm much better at coming up with the concept of a song and a few pieces of lyrics here and there.

Hobi always holds me and slowly lowers us to a sitting position and just holds me while talking me through it. Once I'm calmed down he leads me to the dance studio, where he makes me laugh by dancing to red velvet and twice. Often times jungkook joins us if he hears the music. They never fail to cheer me up.

Namjoon puts my ear to his chest and hums to me till I'm calmed down enough to start discussing my favorite books. The hunger games is a popular topic, we can never seem to come to a conclusion on how to win effectively. And then there's Harry Potter, where we are all too eager to point out how harry was a dumbass. By the end of our book debate I'm always more than happy and am no longer thinking of my anxiety but of my favorite characters.

Jimin and taehyung essentially do the same thing. They hold me and sing to me till I'm calm. Then they make a Iris sandwich and cuddle me for as long as they feel is necessary. Somehow they are always together when I need them. I don't know how. Magic? maybe.

And then there's our precious jungkook who holds me and hums 10,000 hours(cause that's my favorite cover he's done) till I've calmed down then he carries me to one of his gaming computes and plays random internet games with me. Games like slither.io and among us till I've completely forgotten why I was panicked in the first place.

My boys never fail to make me feel loved. They all know how to help me and how to make me feel safe. I couldn't be happier. It took 5 months of pure hell, but I am now officially off all medications and am now working on my debut, which is now set for February 14 2020 aka valentines day. I thought that would be sooo cute. And to my surprise Bang PD agreed. It's currently November 2019, and I have the songs done, I just need to record them learn the chorography, and film the MV. I can't wait.


A/N: okay here is chapter 32, I loved writing this and thinking about how the boys would help someone in a panic attack. 

Can anyone guess the title track? I think I made it pretty clear. 

Also I uploaded a COMPLETED one shot called the concert switch and would really appreciate it if you gave it a read, and maybe comment to let me know what you think?

Thank you guys so much, I'm soo sad that this story is coming to an end, but I have two ideas for  another soulmate book after this. One would be multifandom (a few members of straykids, a single NCT member, a single member from TXT, a single member from 17, a single member from BTS) X OC and the other would be a single BTS member x OC. Which would you prefer?

As always thank you so much for reading, please vote and comment to let me know what you think!!!

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