That Bitch Dancer is a Virgin

TBDV 37

Shakia's POV

"Sooooo, how did it gooo?"

Pinaningkitan ko ng mata si Annie nang agad ako nitong salubungin pagkapasok ko ng bahay.

"Bakit hindi ka pa natutulog? Hm?" Pinilit kong umaktong natural. Hindi naman ako nahirapan. I was so used to acting that I'm fine and sometimes I could even delude myself into believing that I am.

Sumimangot si Annie at pinagsalikop ang mga braso. "Because I wanna know how it went. Did you kiss?" Her eyes rounded in excitement.

"Kiskis ko muka niyo d'yan sa pader eh." Lumabas mula sa kwarto si Kreyo na salubong ang mga kilay.

I breathed in relief when he grabbed our reluctant sister to tuck her to bed. Naiilang ako sa naging tanong ni Annie. Yea. We kissed. More than kissed actually. I could still feel how his lips had moved against mine. How his hands pressed and wandered. And I could still feel how it hurts.

Evankhell would never look at me without seeing the side of me that sways under neon lights. He would always hold that against me. In his eyes I would always be a slut.

I bet it's easier to believe that than believe all the reasons that led me to be that kind of entertainer.

I sighed. Excited pa naman akong maging PA niya. We even made those rules. Turns out, they're all a product of pity. I guess he's too proud to admit that he's sorry for being the asshole that he is and tried to compensate by giving me a job. Napabuntung-hininga ulit ako.

Ano kaya ang magiging reaksyon niya 'pag inamin ko sa kanya na mahal ko na siya?

I kicked my heels and stretched. Saka ako dumapa sa ibabaw ng kama habang yakap yakap ang unan ko. He would probably feel disgusted.

Bakit ba ako nahulog sa lalaking wala namang ibang ginawa kundi saktan ako? Stupid. Naturingan kang matalino pero sa usapang ganito napakabobo mo.

'Love is stupid.'

Kailangan kong lumayo bilang awa na din para sa sarili ko. Hindi na ako pwedeng makipag-ugnayan ni kanino man sa pamilya ni Evankhell, tapos na ako sa kanila.

"YO, NIE, how would you feel if mom came back?" I could feel two questioning gaze on me as I blurted that question. Nag-aagahan kami para makapasok na sa eskwela at saka ko lang din naisip kung gaano karandom ang tanong ko.

"Ba't? Nakita mo ba siyang nagmartsa pabalik dito sa'tin?" Asik ni Kreyo na nagpagulat sakin.

We rarely talked about her and I've forgotten how much Yoyo despised even mentioning her in this house.

"I missed her tho." It was Annie who said that.

"You can't miss someone you don't remember. Jeez," aburidong tumayo si Kreyo dala ang pinggan niya at nilapag ito sa lababo. "Nie, bilisan mo, late na tayo."

Nakangusong tumalima ang nakababata naming kapatid.

Pinanood ko silang pumara ng motorcab bago ako pumasok para maghanda na rin.

Mrs. Anadeth Hanford. She must really like that name. Ang lapit lapit niya lang pala sa amin pero ni minsan ay hindi niya man lang sinilip kung ano na ang lagay namin. Kung may kinakain ba kami. Kung buhay pa ba kami. She never wanted to be with us.

Pero bakit si Kuya Agusto ang dinala niya? Bakit siya lang? Napalakas ang pagsara ko ng pinto habang iniisip 'yun.

SA tapat ng gate itinigil ng drayber ang motorcab at matapos mag-abot ng bayad ay bumaba na ako. Papasok palang ako sa entrada ng gate nang maramdaman kong parang may iba. The environment feels... hostile.