Puppy Love and Sunflowers

Chapter 15: Waste of Space

Ricky: Then what are you- *oh my god, she likes me.... no no no no, I love Nini, she's such an amazing friend but I don't want to hurt her. I'll be all weird and flirty but I don't know if I'm completely over Alice yet. It wouldn't be fair to her* do you like... like me?
Nini: I-I do. Basically since we met
Ricky: *I brush my hair back with my hands* oh. Nini I- I don't know if I'm ready for a new relationship right now
Nini: It's fine, it's fine. I don't expect you to be
Ricky: I'm sorry
Nini: Don't be, it's not your fault
Ricky: we don't have to change anything. I still love being around you and acting like we do. I mean we basically are a couple *laughs a little* Just, can we wait on the whole boyfriend, girlfriend, titles?
Nini: What are you implying?
Ricky: what do you mean what am I implying? I'm just saying I don't wanna have titles or be official or anything. I wanna keep what we have, at least for now
Nini: So you want a relationship but you don't want a relationship?
Ricky: don't we all *laughs a little*
Nini: I guess... So I can be your not official girlfriend?
Ricky: if that's what you wanna call it, sure
Nini: Well then I would love to be your unofficial girlfriend *smiles*
Ricky: but nothing changes
Nini: Stop ruining the moment *laughs*
Ricky: what did I do?
Nini: Exist *laughs*
Ricky: *I push you in the water and splash you* shut up *laughs*
Nini: *I come back up* You jerk *laughs*
Ricky: *laughs*
Nini: Surfer boyyyyy
Ricky: whatttt
Nini: You're cute
Ricky: mmm
Nini: Mmmm what?
Ricky: *I go under water and grab your foot*
Nini: Ricky! Stop it! *laughs*
Ricky: stop what?
Nini: Touching me!
Ricky: that wasn't me....
Nini: Yes it was, you touched my foot. Right?
Ricky: no...
Nini: Haha very funny
Ricky: I'm serious...
Nini: Then what was it?
Ricky: I don't know... maybe a shark-
Nini: No no no I can't do sharks. Ricky I'm scared!
Ricky: a shark named Ricky....
Nini: You little-
Ricky: *I go underwater and make shark fins with my hands and swim around you*
Nini: *laughs* God you're so annoying but so cute
Ricky: *like I said, I don't want anything between us to change... but her calling me cute... knowing she actually likes me is... different*
*laughs*
Nini: Rickyyyy?
Ricky: Niniiii
Nini: *I point to my lips*
Ricky: *I squint my eyes* mm?
Nini: *I point to them again* please?
Ricky: are you asking me to kiss you?
Nini: Maybeeeee
Ricky: I'm not your boyfriend *laughs*
Nini: *Yeah, stop reminding me* Pleaseeeee? With extra cherries on top?
Ricky: your such a needy not-my-girlfriend *laughs*
Nini: I know, it's bad *laughs*
Ricky: fine, one more, but that's it today, okay?
Nini: You're giving me a limit?!
Ricky: yes
Nini: You make things so difficult
Ricky: *I only am cause she likes me so that's kinda...I don't know.* I always do
Nini: That's definitely true *laughs*
Ricky: so make this count missy *I kiss you*
Nini: *I kiss back* *Why am I doing this to myself, god I hate this*
Ricky: *after a few seconds I pull back then swim away*
Nini: I feel robbed
Ricky: *I yell from a little ways away* Hey Nini! We should probably head in, it's getting late!
Nini: *I swim over to you* Do you know what time it is?
Ricky: no, but we got in at around 9: 30
Nini: Oh gosh *laughs* It probably is pretty late
Ricky: come on then *I swim toward the shore*
Nini: *I follow you and get out* I'm so tired
Ricky: Not gonna lie, me too
Nini: Can you carry me?
Ricky: but I'm tireddddd
Nini: But my legs are broken
Ricky: Ugh, Fine
Nini: Yay!
Ricky: piggy back?
Nini: Nah, we already did that
Ricky: then.... what
Nini: Bridal style?
Ricky: there goes that needy-not-my- girlfriend again *I laugh and pick you up*
Nini: Thanks babe *laughs*
Ricky: *mmm no, don't like that* *I walk to the shop and go to the back storage room*
Nini: Thanks for the lesson today Ricky
Ricky: you're welcome as always *I put you down*
Nini: I guess I should head home
Ricky: are you coming tomorrow?
Nini: If you'll be here to teach me
Ricky: I'll be here *laughs*
Nini: Then I'll see you tomorrow, surfer boy
Ricky: bye sunflower
Nini: Bye Ricky *I blow you a kiss and laugh*
Ricky: *I laugh and wave* byee
Nini: *I walk to my car and drive home*

Ricky: *On the drive home I run through the day in my head. I guess I never realized she liked me like that. I feel bad cause I don't wanna start a relationship right now. I don't wanna get my heart broken again. And she said she's liked me since we met, has she only been extra nice and kind and helpful just because she wants to be with me? No, she seemed to really care. Well, I don't know. But what's this sudden urge to wanna kiss me all the time and why did I keep letting her. I told her I don't want a relationship yet and if she keeps kissing me she's gonna think we're a thing and that's just normal for us. I told her the truth, I do like acting flirty with her but that's all I thought it was. We were ACTING. Just flirting with each other as friends and nothing else. I didn't really want kissing to be part of that because now it's like we're a couple. I guess I just didn't want her to feel bad for kissing me so I just went along with it. And she's a good kisser and all but I feel like it's super one sided. I can tell she likes me as she kisses me. And I'm gonna kiss back, so she doesn't feel too awkward but I don't think I feel what she feels. I still need to get over Alice.

Nini: *I get ready for bed and start thinking to myself. What did I do today? Not only did I most likely force Ricky into something he probably doesn't want, I told him the secret I've been keeping from him for about 2 months now. What was I thinking?! I highly doubt Ricky is over Alice and he probably doesn't want anything more than a platonic relationship. I overstepped a boundary and now I'm paying the price. I should probably just avoid him, just for the sake of my own pride *laughs* I'm kidding. But I don't think I can handle being around him. I shouldn't have done that. God Nini, this is why everyone leaves you. Why you've been cheated on in almost all of your relationships. You're just a lonely and needy bitch that can't keep people close without fucking up and having them leave you. I haven't even talked to my moms in two years! *I start crying* I'm so unwanted in this world, that it pits itself against me. I just need to stop being such a waste of space*