nobody like you (Lauren Jauregui)

not just a bruise

As Lauren walks past the almost empty cafeteria, she hears an adorable belly laugh that she knows too well and it automatically makes her smile. She stops at the next window and sees Alma laughing with Alisha who's laughing too, her water bottle close to her mouth.

Lauren feels happy seeing Alma smiling so hard, but it also makes her sick when she reminds herself that she isn't the one making her laugh so hard.

As she walks to her car, Lauren's smile is slowly disappearing, her mind starting to overthink this situation.
She hates Camila for putting her in this situation.

Lauren was never a jealous person, whether it was in a romantic relationship or a platonic one or even with her siblings. She was never jealous.
But then Camila had to completely destroy her trust, as well as breaking her heart and now she finds herself doubting every single minor thing in her relationship.

Is it even a relationship? What is going on between her and Alma? Are they dating? Are they just gonna fuck every once in a while?

That's not what Lauren wants. She wants her, every single part of her, and each day that goes by makes Lauren fall a little deeper in love with Alma.

She hates to love it.

She dries the one tear that just went down her cheek, and shakes her head when she thinks about how ridiculous she is. She doesn't know whether she should talk to Alma about this or not.

Maybe Alma doesn't care, she's nineteen, she has other things to do. But... communication?

Lauren shakes it off, getting out of her car and entering her house, laying down on her couch. She doesn't even notice herself falling asleep before the doorbell rings and stirs her awake.

She watches her phone; it's 2:35 PM.

She walks to the door knowing exactly who's behind it.

"Hi." Alma says with a grin.

"Hey. I thought you were going to stay with Alisha?"

"Oh yeah, I was, but her mom called her and she had to help with something. So here I am."

Lauren nods, walking to her couch where she lies down again.

"Are you okay?" Alma asks, letting her backpack fall on the ground and putting her jacket away.

"Yeah. I just woke up, sorry. You came to me because Alisha had to go?"

"And because I wanted to? What's going on? You're acting a little off."

"Nothing. I'm just making conversation. I'm tired and overthinking." Lauren closes her eyes.

"Oh." Alma says, taking her shoes off. "Do you wanna cuddle?"

Lauren opens her arms and Alma casually lies on top of her to hug her.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Alma whispers, her head laying on Lauren's chest as she watches a random framed picture on Lauren's TV stand.

"I don't think there really is anything to talk about. I think you have things you could want to talk about?"

"There isn't anything to say either."

"Okay then."

There's a silence for a few minutes, and Alma just appreciates Lauren's fingertips tracing imaginary lines under her shirt, and Lauren just likes how it feels to have Alma's body against her own.

She stops by putting one of her hand on Alma's side and it feels kind of weirdly warm compared to her cold skin, and the way Alma slightly jumps is even weirder.

"Okay get up and let me see." Lauren says, and Alma shakes her head.

"No. There isn't anything to see."

"I swear if you don't let me see, I'm giving you a week of detention for all the times you come late."

"That's blackmail, I'm never even late anymore!" Alma chuckles.

"Let me see, Alma. This doesn't feel like just a bruise. I literally felt it. Take your top off."

"You just want to see my tits, admit it." Alma laughs and Lauren chuckles, trying to pull Alma's top so she can see.

"Stop it! I'm telling you there's nothing to see."

"Then why are you hiding it away from me?"

Alma looks at her in the eyes. Lauren does have a point.

"Okay but once you see it just act like you didn't see anything."

Lauren just nods and Alma falls on her back, sighing as Lauren slides her sweater up a bit, her eyes wide open as she sees the purple mark.

"Okay, I am definitely not acting as if I didn't see. What the hell is that??"

"I told you, I fell at practice last night."

"Oh yeah? Last time I checked your practices were on Monday and Thursday night, and yesterday was Sunday. Care to explain?"

"Maybe I got in a very little insignificant argument with my stepdad."

"He did this to you? And you weren't gonna tell me?"

"No. It doesn't matter, he was probably high and-"

"He takes drugs?! How old is your sister again?"

"Two?"

"I'm totally reporting that, what the fuck?"

"No! How are you gonna explain that you saw it? 'Oh, well, you know, we were just fucking in my shower and I saw it!' Is that what you're gonna tell them? No. So sit your ass back down and you better not say a word about what you just saw."

Lauren looks at her, kind of shocked by the aggressiveness, and blinks.

"Don't ever talk to me like that again. I'm neither your homie or your bitch so give me a little respect."

"Ok, Aretha Franklin, are you done now?"

Lauren watches as Alma pulls her knees to her chest, kind of pouting but also slightly shaking.

"Is it triggering? To talk about him?"

"Shut up."

"Is this the first time he hurt you?"

"Drop it, Lauren!" Alma gets upset, and a tear falls down her cheek.

"No. This is serious. Is he triggering, I'm asking you?"

"You better fucking drop it or I swear to God I will fucking-" Alma says, standing up, and she realises what she's doing and saying so she stops, looking at Lauren. "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"So he is triggering. Okay, got it. You know, the school counselor might be able to help you-"

"There isn't one. They're searching for a new one."

"Okay, well. My best friend is a therapist and she's currently searching for something like that. If she ever gets the job at our school, or somewhere else, I think you should go by her office someday. This isn't just a bruise, Alma."

Lauren wipes Alma's tears away but they all start streaming down her face, so she just holds her tight.

"I'm here for you. If you want to, you can barge into my room anytime of the day and if I'm not there you can come here. Okay?" Lauren says, but Alma's way too vulnerable to even nod right now.