Derek's point of view
After the phone call I had with Lemon I automatically broke down in my car, I couldn't even believe myself that I wanted to ruin something great in my life.
Lemon truly doesn't deserve a man like me.
I'm not even a man right now I'm being a fuck boy who's afraid of commitment and that's not who I am nor raised.
I know my father and mother are looking down on me with so much disappointment.
I'm the biggest asshole on this planet right now.
The fact I was honestly trying to find any reason to make Lemon be the bad guy in this situation is beyond ignorant.
I never understood why she ran away before and even with her telling me just a bit of what happened still didn't make me believe it was as bad as she was saying.
The stupidity of me finally believing my Lemon was not even from her mouth but from her ex best friend.
I now know Lemon has never had a good life but yet she comes off with so much positive energy you would've never thought what she's gone through.
Once I get back I'm going to show her how much I love, appreciate and find ways to show her how sorry for what I was about to do.
I'm also not ready for the conversation with Lemon once I get back and I unfold everything to her and actually tell her the real reason I was in Seattle in the first place.
Part of me thinks Lemon is going to be pissed and she'll kick me out and probably not talk to me for a good few weeks.
The other part of me thinks Lemon is going to act like she's fine but once I turn my back or leave she'll run away and go into hiding.
Lemon has had so much pain in her life and what she doesn't know is I'm also causing her pain.
I never would of thought I would meet the girl of my dreams like this, but you can't control what happens in your life and Lemon is going to have to try to understand that.
Everything is going to come out and the most scariest part is telling her I was getting paid for this, I don't know how I'm going to calm her down once that comes to light.
Fuck my life, God why would you do this to me?.
Finally twenty minutes go by I straighten myself up and look at the clock and notice I can drive to Rafa's place or office but I'm still not ready to face him yet.
It's like what do I tell Rafa?
I met a girl while in Seattle and I fell in love with her the moment she bumped into me on the Ferry Boat.
Do I tell him the whole truth about finding Lemon?
Or do I tell my best friend a lie?.
Instead of taking off I stay parked and dial his number and wait for him to answer the phone.
"Derek, I'm glad you called I was just about to call you. I have you on speaker and Antonio is also here with me."
