Sunflower [h.s.]

8 - Uh Oh

It'd been two weeks since Harry had stayed the night after our movie marathon. We'd continued our daily calls and he had come over to hang out a few times, but I couldn't stop thinking about that night. He stayed on his side of the bed all night, which I appreciated. I'd gotten really close to him over a short amount of time, and him sleeping in the same bed as me was a wake up call.

It was so unlike me to allow something like that to happen, and I had to remind myself that he wasn't someone I'd known forever. I was letting him in without even realizing it, and I hated it. He was so charming that I hadn't realized how deep into his world I'd fallen.

And realizing how consumed I was by him made me come to another realization - I liked Harry.

We finished the last movie the next day after I'd made us breakfast. He left later that afternoon, giving me time to think about everything that had happened. Supposedly, he didn't even remember the incident. I believed him, though. The man had apologies at least a hundred times before he left, and probably a hundred times more in the following days.

I was walking a dangerous line with him. I knew I was letting him get too close to me, but I'd shoved down the fluttering feeling he gave me because I liked being around him so much. It was coming back to bite me in the ass, though.

I'd been working on another painting, one that was pretty representative of how I was feeling about the Harry situation. It was another landscape, but instead of the usual grassy field, it was a dark and blue ocean littered with tall rock and one tall cliff on the left. The freezing waves crashed against the rocks and heavy grey clouds were scattered in the sky.

That was exactly how I felt - cold. I wished I could be open and allow myself to like Harry, but there was always a nagging feeling in the back of my mind to run. I liked how he made me feel. He made me feel so special and important. But even though I liked the way I felt around him, I hated thinking about how things could end.

Couldn't we just stay friends forever? Friends get in fights and they make up. Friends go through rough patches, but they stay friends because they like being around each other.

If I risked telling him how I felt, it could ruin our friendship. Or worse. If he felt the same, things would change between us. Of course it would be nice at first, but once one person loses feelings, you have to break it off. And then our friendship would be gone because how do you come back from that?

I decided I would just stuff the feelings down and ignore them. Nothing good would come of it and I valued our friendship more than anything. It wasn't worth ruining what we already had.

He was supposed to pick me up soon to go with him to practice with the band, despite my arguments on why I shouldn't go.

"Harry, not even Isabel goes to those, and Adam is literally her boyfriend," I argued, but he wouldn't have it.

"Yeah, but that's because it's not really Isabel's thing. You love our music, you would really enjoy it. Everyone wants you to come."

I knew he said that so I would feel obligated to go, but it worked. Which is why I was waiting outside of my door for him. He also somehow convinced me to let him bring me, although I'm not sure why I said yes to that part.

His car came to a stop and I ran to it, opening the passenger door and climbing in. He was running late, but he didn't seem the least bit bothered. He rolled back the sunroof and I could feel the sun warming my shoulders. I looked over, noticing him scrolling through his playlists.

"You're running late and you're worried about what song to play on the way there?" I asked, laughing at how nonchalant he was being.

"Yes. What's your point?" He asked, looking at me through his sunglasses with a grin so wide it was blinding. I couldn't help but laugh and I shifted in my seat, getting more comfortable.