Sunflower [h.s.]

12 - Like or Like Like?

It'd been a few weeks since I'd gone to dinner with Harry and coincidentally ran into my ex-girlfriend. I thought that the experience would have been much worse, but I should have known how understanding Harry was about things like that.

Every time I dumped information like that, he was always supportive and caring; it never seemed to bother him. I wasn't sure why I thought this time would be any different.

I spent the majority of my time since that day with Harry. We were always doing something new and exciting, he never ran out of ideas for new places to go. It would always seem like the most insignificant places, but he always had a way of making it more exciting and fun.

One day, he insisted I go somewhere with him, but wouldn't tell me where, just to pack a pair of running shoes. We drove for over an hour, and then ended up hiking over a mile, just for him to have set up a picnic for us. It was hard to explain, but if it were anyone else, I'd have wanted to kill them right then and there. But with Harry, I was excited that we had gone on a fun adventure, just the two of us.

But, speaking of just the two of us, I still hadn't told him how I felt. I knew I should have, but it was a lot harder than it seemed. Everytime I thought I would do it, my thoughts would flood with what would happen if he didn't feel the same, and I always backed out.

It was tormenting me, if I'm being honest. It was such a difficult situation, because I felt like I could say with certainty that he liked me back, but there was a part of me that was still unsure. It was like I couldn't go out on a limb until I knew for absolute certainty of his feelings for me.

Honestly, although these past few weeks had been a lot of fun with Harry, the time I spent without him was horrible. When I was with him, everything else seemed to fade away. I didn't think much about anything, I just knew that I felt really good when I was around him.

As soon as we would separate, though, I would immediately start to question how I felt about the situation and what I was going to do about it. It was torture, riding such a high when I was with him, but hitting a terrible low when he was gone.

The band was playing tonight, and I made a promise to myself that I would at least tell him how I feel, if nothing else. After the band was done playing, and we were on our way home, I would tell him that he's all I can think about these days and that I can't stand being without him. I couldn't tell him before the band went on, though, which was going to be really hard now that I'd made up my mind.

I was the type of person that took forever to finally make a decision about something, and my feelings for Harry were proof of that. However, the moment I'd realized what to do, I couldn't wait until that moment. Months of tension would be released and we wouldn't have to tiptoe around the subject any longer.

[song: Pristine - Snail Mail]

Harry drove me to the bar as usual, our normal music blaring as we drove with the windows down. I was excited to finally tell him how I felt and it made every moment I spent with him even more fun.

We were both singing at the top of our lungs and I let the music wash over me as the wind whipped through my hair. It'd been such a long time since I'd felt so free.

"You shouldn't sing so loud, you're gonna ruin your voice before you perform," I yelled, trying to talk over the wind and the music.

"I'm just warming my voice up!" He yelled back as we both laughed at his response. I leaned my head back against the seat, closing my eyes and taking it all in. After tonight, things would be different between us, not in a bad way, but still. They'd be different. And I didn't like change.