love death love (bxb)

Chapter 9

*Trigger warning. talking about PSD, abuse/ Trauma.*

Before I was fully a sleep, I felt strong arms pick me up and carry me. Placing me in a bed, and delicately stroked my hair. While I was falling a sleep, I could faintly hear a voice say

"Please don't leave me."

while I slowly drifted away.

[ Currently]

I was tossing and turning. My body feeling like it was being suffocated. My current dream turned into something that caused me PTSD.

It always start's with the woman that took care of me after school, when I was in middle school. The women was holding a pot with boiling hot water. She was about to start cooking, while I struggled on an assignment at the dinning table.

She turned on the song  "Suga,  Suga" by baby bash, and started bobbing her head to the music, turning to look over to me. She would close her eye's and swayed to the melody. I would just watch her, smiling distracting myself from my homework. 

A faint distant voice kept telling me to get out and run, but I would just ignore it to peacefully watch the woman cook. All of a sudden there would be a continuous bang on the door, following with unhuman shrieks, demanding for the door to be opened. 

The panicked woman quickly turned off her Music, she ran to grab me, and the house phone to call the police. Leaving the pot boiling on the stove. We looked for a place to hide, while she wrapped her arm's around me, shielding me from danger. 

The woman's hand's shook violently while trying to dial 911. I just look at her confused, feeling anxious from the sudden tension in the room. 

"what's going o-" I started to panic, but the woman placed her hand on my mouth to silence me, when she heard the front door slam open.

"shh, hey, hey, we'll be okay. I just need you to stay quite until I tell you it's safe to talk."  the woman whispered, cooing, stroking my head to comfort me. 

I nodded my head, listening to her request.

The woman was on the phone with the police, while a man kept calling out a name.

Linda.

I heard foot steps come the direction where we were hiding. We were hiding in a closet in my parent's bedroom. Seeing a shadow right outside the door we were hiding from, made it hard for me to breathe. 

The woman just kept stroking my head, doing her best to comfort me and keep me calm. I just closed my eye's, praying that the man would leave.  Suddenly the door swung open, causing both the woman and I to scream.

The man would curse and would  call the woman vulgar words. He harshly grabbed the woman and started to drag her down the stairs by her hair. I begged, more liked screamed for the man to let her go. 

The man ignored my cries, continuing to be rough with the woman. Hitting her and pulling on her hair. I did my very best to pull him off of her, only to have me aggressively shoved away, hitting my back off the wall. 

I winced at the pain, but quickly got up so I could try again. 

The woman held out her, urging me to stay where I was. 

"JONATHAN DON'T, please. I'll be alright. Please just stay there. Sweetly, please listen to me, alright?" the woman tried her best to make her voice  sound  soft and reassuring.