love death love (bxb)

Chapter 12

"Hey, what was it that you were apologizing for?" I questioned tilting my head in confusion.

Tyler just froze and I could tell he felt guilty again. I tugged on his shirt, pulling his shirt to bring him closer to me. I gave him a quick kiss on my the cheek.

"Never mind. It's fine." I squeezed his face, shaking it gently.

[Currently] 

Marcus was laying on Alex's couch, while he watched Alex look at photographs of suspects on his living room floor. Marcus' bags under his eyes were telling him to sleep, but he physically unable to, with the thought of Jonathan constantly on his mind. Alex groaned in frustration.

"Still got nothing huh?" Marcus laughed dryly, stressed about how slow Alex's process was going.

Alex just whipped his head back, glaring at Marcus. He just clicked his tongue in annoyance, and turned his back to focus on what he was doing before.  Alex ran his fingers through his hair while he concentrated.

"This is confidential, why are you even in my house anyways?" Alex huffed at Marcus, while still trying to go over each suspects time and locations during their encounters with Jonathan.

"Because some blue eyed, blonde bimbo opened the door and let me in..." Marcus shot back, as he glared at the back of Alex's head.

Alex's face reddened, staying silent for a second, before turning his body around so he was facing a sleepy looking Marcus. Marcus just avoided Alex's gaze, and Alex just scanned Marcus' face. Marcus looked sleep deprived and anxious. 

"Shut up, if you aren't going to answer my question seriously,  go to sleep." Alex commanded, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

Marcus' cheeks started to feel hot from embarrassment. He haven't had a proper sleep since Jonathan went missing. When he does, he finds himself getting nightmare's, causing him to wake up in a cold sweat. 

"I can't..." Marcus quietly spoke, still avoiding making eye contact.

Alex's expression softened and he became more concerned about Marcus' response. Me moved himself closer to Marcus, resting head beside Marcus on the coach.

"You can't what?" Alex asked confused by Marcus' statement.

Marcus cheek's became darker when Alex lifted his head back up, and moved where he could see Marcus' face. Marcus finally looked at Alex, noticing the concern on his face, while he waited for Marcus' explanation. Marcus just let out a sigh, before he turned himself to look up at the ceiling.

"I- I can't sleep. It's not that I don't want to. I really feel like I've been hit by a bus, and just want to close my eyes. But I can't. Every time I try, I just get nightmares. They always are about Jonathan. I can't stop thinking about him, he's constantly on my mind and it eats me up inside. It kills me to know it's my fault he's gone. If only I didn't make him go out. If only I didn't leave him alone. But no, I pussied out and left him all alone by himself. When I came back, he just looked so cute, I couldn't be around him, you know. I was scared I might say or do something stupid. So avoided coming back to him. I am so pathetic. Now he's missing and probably hates me too. I can't, I just can't stop thinking about Jonathan. I want him to be safe and alive. So I'm here- I am here because I am worried, and you're the only one who takes me seriously. I also just don't want to be alone... " tears formed in Marcus' eyes, while he honestly responded back to Alex's question.