21. The Choice Between Love and Duty

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After King Raven leaves me, I stand up from my seat at the table and walk over to an irate Timber

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After King Raven leaves me, I stand up from my seat at the table and walk over to an irate Timber. I do not say anything to him as I make my way slowly up the stairs. With each step the space between my legs aches from a day doing unspeakable things with Timber. The ache is now also a reminder of what King Raven is here for.

He is here because what Timber and I have been doing was only something he was supposed to be able to do. He had every right to pull me away from that table and drag me up to bed with him. It was even in his rights to kill Prince Timber, if he had so wished, but he did not.

King Raven had silently made his way up the stairs by himself after having a civil conversation with me. If he had wanted to he could have brought the entire wrath of the Sky Realm on this inn. There is no doubt in me that he could have done it. He was leaving the choice up to me; the fate of our realms, Ophelia and Garret too, hangs on my shoulders.

A sense of duty wracks through me, making me nearly want to fall to my knees as I enter our bedroom. The guilt that flows through me as well is relentless. I make my way over to bed and sit down on the edge of it, still able to smell the scent of our mating heady in the sir.

"We need to go." I watch as Timber starts scrambling around the room, picking up whatever he can and shoving it into our bags. "Peregrine, get dressed. We must leave here this instant. We must make haste."

"There is no where to go, Timber. Look outside." We had not looked out the window all day because we had spent the entirety of it in bed. But I had seen the thick snow on the shoulders of Kings Raven's cloak. It was snowing heavily again and with no where to go, in the middle of the night no less, there is no way I would survive much of a journey anywhere.

He jerks open the curtain and curses. "It does not matter. I will keep you warm I will keep you safe. There is another place about a day or two from here. We could go into the village or maybe even back to the cave. Maybe we could—"

"Just stop it, Timber." A fresh set of tears begins flowing down my face. "There is no use in fleeing now. King Raven is here. Just stop." I put my face in my hands before continuing. "No matter where we go our realms will find us; he will find us."

"No, we can escape their tyranny, Pere. We can run far away." He pulls my hands away from my face. "It can just be you and me. We can have that future we had talked about. I promise you. I do."

I push him away from me. "Promise me?" The words come out more bitter than expected. "You cannot promise me anything, Timber. All you can promise is the ruin of our realms and harm to Ophelia and Garret if we continue the path that we are on. Do you really want to be the cause of a war between our people? You cannot keep continuing to ask me to do that especially after King Raven has found us. He will not leave here without me without wanting a war in return. Would you be willing to have your own people slaughtered for me? Would you have that happen to them? Is that what you want?"

"Of course that is not what I want, Pere. How could you even ask me such a question?" He stands up abruptly, walking away from me toward the fireplace. "The last thing I want is war between our realms. That is never what I wanted but I wanted the right to choose my fate. I wanted the right to choose who I can be with, not be forced to rut someone I barely even know or care for. I love my realm but I am in love with you. It is not fair for you or anyone to ask me to choose between the two."

"But it is our duty, Timber." I stand up and go over to him. "It is our duty to our realms to not cause a war and if I stay here, if I stay with you, then we will cause a war, you know that."

"And so have you!" He yells back at me, causing me to take a step away from him. "You knew that leaving your castle, leaving your king, would inevitably lead to a war between our people and you chose to leave anyway." Timber shakes his head in frustration as he grabs another log and tosses it on the fire, stoking it just like the anger in himself. "You knew all of that and yet you left anyway. You made the choice to be with me, to mate with me. That was your choice, Pere. Now, what? Just because your king is here you remember your duty?"

"I made the choice to be with you, Timber. I belong to you but what King Raven said is true we will be the decimation of our realms if I stay with you."

"So, will you just be leaving me now, then?" He grips the mantle as if bracing himself for my response. "Will you leave your mate so soon? Will you break the bond between us as if it meant nothing to you; like I mean nothing to you?"

"Timber, no, it is not like that." I walk up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder.

"But it is like that." He shrugs me off of him. "It is exactly like that, Pere. What do you think it will be like for my wolf if you choose to leave me? Do you have any idea what losing a mate is like for my kind?"

"It is the same for all of our kinds, Timber!" It breaks all of us and it hurts us all.

"You do not know what will happen the moment you let him make you his. You have no idea how painful that will be for me." The mantle snaps underneath his grasp, splintering the wood there in his anger.

"You know that I will never stop loving you. You know that I will love you the most, above all, Timber. You must know that." I let out a sob as I feel a part of me break inside.

"No, not above all. You love your realm above all things; your king." The last word was said in a sneer.

"How could you even say that? How could you even imply that I do not care about you the most by wanting what is best for both of our realms? I love you and I love my people as I know you do yours. We do not want our families to slaughter each other over this."

He grabs a mug off of the table beside him and chucks it across the room. He does say anything at all as he continues to throw another and flip a table, letting out all of his frustration and aggression on the room around us. But before he can leave the thing in ruins I go up to him and put a firm hand on his bicep.

"Timber, stop." He is tense, staring at the wall, not wanting to look at me, I am sure. "Please, just come here." I open my arms for him to embrace me. He hesitates but then ultimately grabs me, hugging my body close to his.

"I cannot let you go. Please, please, do not ask me to do that. I love you more than anything. You are my everything and if I lose you I do not know what I will do. I will be lost without you."

"You will always have me, Timber." I bring my hand up as he loosens his hold on me slightly and touch his heart. "I will always be right here. Always."

"You are leaving with him in the morning then?"

"Yes." I look up into those slate-colored depths and watch as they glaze over with tears. It is the only time I think I have ever seen Timber about to cry. He blinks a few times quickly, ridding what I know he considered to be traitorous moisture. "At least we have one more night together."

"Yes, one more night together."


A/N:
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