𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 | 𝐉.𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘

s3 e7: "i do this for them"

☁︎·̩͙✧ ❝ HERE'S TO THE GIRLS WHO'S FATHERS BROKE THEIR HEARTS
WAY BEFORE ANY BOY COULD ❞ ✧·̩͙☁︎

─── ∙ ~𑁍~ ∙ ───

✧ 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 ✧
𝚋𝚢 𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚊
𝟶:𝟶𝟶────────𝟹:𝟻𝟼
⇄  ◃◃   ⅠⅠ   ▹▹   ↻

𝘪 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵.
𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘥𝘢𝘺.

𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘪 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘮𝘦
𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥

𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘴
𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦𝘺.
𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭, 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘴,
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦.
𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝙢𝙮 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯. 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦.
𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥. 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘦. 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳.

exhaustion. resentment. dejection.

these past 18 hours had taken the woman on an emotional roller coaster like no other.

not like taking her boards, not like losing lexie.

not like her wedding day, nor thinking she was going to lose jackson.

certainly not like when she found out she was pregnant a day ago.

this was a whole new ride. one she had no control over getting on, being strapped inside against her will.

11:12 p.m. she had been seated in the kitchen since around ten o'clock, staring up at the kitchen's source of light which happened to be tens of lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling, illuminating the entire room. the little navy blue book laid exposed to kelsey, waiting for her to turn to the next page of the story. the first page already had her ready to burst into tears, setting the mood for what the rest of the journal entailed. her fingers mindlessly danced across certain wordings. not everyone will break me like you did. the family photos, all filled with just me and kelsey. she's my daughter. she's a livingston. she's all me.

she could've gone the rest of life without encountering the events she was faced with on that very day.

maybe something good did come out of it, though.