Beyond The Pale

7. Sanity lost

I'm beyond the pale, Christina.

I frowned at his familiar words. "Did you overhear my father yesterday?"

"Does it matter?" His eyes widened a bit, before dropping his hand to his side.

Of course, he heard!

I huffed. "I don't care about what he said, he doesn't know you." Rafael shook his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips when he looked at the ceiling and back at me.

"You're forgetting you don't know me either." Yes, I didn't know him but from what I've seen and observed, I know that he can be sweet and kind. He may be a mobster or- Okay that freaked me out, and he more than once terrified me but there is something good inside his intimidating exterior.

Something good? Don't fool yourself!

"I know that you can be sweet, even from your cruel nature-" Rafael frowned as soon I said he was sweet.

"Sweet?" He shook his head. "I'm far from it. I'm definitely cruel, Christina. Yesterday I actually thought I'd come over and eat some take out. But that-" He closed his eyes, clenching his teeth. "Russian that was sent here, ruined that. Fuçk I wouldn't even treat you right in bed."

Inappropriate much?

A mental image of Rafael and I in bed made my body respond like a piece of wood being given to a burning fire.

My eyebrows raised a little. "You treated me quite nicely last time."

"Right, after I made you cry?" Rafael laughed bitterly. "I've never made love to a woman. I fuçk woman till they can't move, I fuçk for my pleasure, not theirs."

My mouth went dry, why is he being like this.

He's proving a point.

"You saved me the first night we met." I pointed out, watching the features on his face drop.

"Yeah, I saved you from myself." Rafael stood a foot back from me. "I had you at gunpoint." He shut his eyes tightly. "I could of fuçked you right there, against the brick wall."

But it wouldn't have been ràpe.

Yes, it would have, not a good time, stupid voice.

I shook my head. I know what he's trying to do. It's not going to work. I took a step towards him, his eyes opened and his eyebrows met in a frown. "You're trying to scare me away."

"I'm not trying to. Every time you've looked at me, it's been full of fear." Rafael snorted, stepping back from me and out of the kitchen.

Yes the night I met him, I was terrified, then the second time after seeing that dead body, then again when he broke into my home, threatening to cut me. Then yesterday when he stabbed that guy in front of me. Okay, remembering how many times is not helping right now. But I don't like to judge people, I want to see past the bad stuff...

Or it's because you fancy him.

"You kissed me yesterday, it meant something." I bit my lip, trying not to seem desperate, but I was obviously failing. God, I'm embarrassing myself.

As usual.

Rafael shook his head, gripping the white marble of the breakfast bar. "You were practically begging me to, with your eyes." This was bullshit!

"You're such a liar!" My nostrils flared, "You said things to me, I don't know what. But they had meaning."

I'm not letting this go, he's trying to push me away.