When We Were Young

Beg for forgiveness

I bolted from the office exactly at five, my plan outlined in my head. After Rachel threatened me, she told me that Skylar was staying in for the night so I decided to stop for flowers and pick up take out with a nice bottle of wine. I was going to pick up the same bottle we drank the first night we met. But first, I ran home for a quick shower and to change.

I hoped things would work out. She would see how much I cared, I would tell her I loved her and how sorry I was. I rushed off the warm street through the turning glass doors, stopping short when I walked into the lobby.

There was Skylar, sitting on the small sofa staring up at me with wide eyes. My body hummed being so close to her. It had only been a week, but it seemed like months since I had seen her or heard her voice.

"Skylar," I said.

"Mr. Young, she wanted to go up to your apartment but you know the rules..." the guard said.

I glanced at him, quickly nodding.

She stood up; she looked smaller than I remembered. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that hugged her body, with flip-flops. The corner of her lips twitched as I walked closer to her. I wanted to inhale her scent, the familiar jasmine perfume she wore, the almond soap on her skin. I wanted to wrap my arms around her but I stopped myself.

"Do you want to come up?" I asked.

Skylar just nodded and headed toward the lift. I guided her with my hand hovering around the small of her back, afraid to touch her. We stood side by side as if we were strangers. Skylar was hugging herself like she'd fall apart if she didn't. She followed me to my apartment and quietly entered behind me.

"I'm sorry about all the books," I said trying to stack them in a pile on the table. Skylar just sat down and watched me running around the room. "Place is a mess," I grumbled finally sitting down on the chair near her. I wished I had turned the air conditioner on; I was burning up.

She just stared at me. Her eyes were sad, distant, red-rimmed.

I cleared my throat, loosening my tie and tossing it aside. "I was going to come see you tonight. I thought...I mean a week had...um," I babbled. "I wanted to give you time."

The toughness in her voice startled me. "Rachel told me you came to see her today." I should've guessed she would tell Skylar. I couldn't be mad.

"She said you looked like hell," she said with a small smile. "She was right."

I snorted a small laugh. "It hasn't been the best week for me."

Skylar's eyes were lazy, almost tired. I could tell that she had been crying. "Me, too."

I clenched my hands together and took a deep breath. "Skylar, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did. I know I acted like an ass going to your place like that. It's just..."

She didn't say anything; she just stared as I mustered the courage to get the words out.

"I was with Nate and he was talking to all these girls and I just kept thinking of you, and then I was getting drunk and thinking about what you were doing. And I know I have no right to say anything. I trust you, but I wanted you to know how much I care and that I don't want you to be with anyone else but me, and I don't want to be with anyone else but you. The thought was driving me crazy and being drunk didn't help and it seemed like a good idea to show up..." I rambled on and on.

Skylar put her hand on my knee and tilted her head. "Stop," she whispered with a small smile. "Albert, it's okay. Well, no—it's not okay." Her voice was low and soothing, her hand still on my knee. "But I get it and what I did..." she looked down biting her bottom lip. Her eyes had become glassy. "What I almost did, that wasn't right either," she looked up at me and sniffled. "I know we hadn't discussed...us but it wasn't right and I'm sorry you had to see that."