When We Were Young

Break-ups

"How long?"

I twisted my lips. I was in the middle of tracing her back with my fingertips, running along the strong muscles of her shoulders, around the delicate curve of her hips and bottom. The sun wasn't up yet but the night sky was already kissing the pressing day. Its violet color was too light to see stars and too dark for anyone to be awake. But we still were, after we made love multiple times.

She had fallen asleep for a few moments, her back pressed against my chest, but I was too overtaken just watching her. Dreams danced behind her eyelids and I wondered if she was dreaming of me. I pressed my hand against her stomach and pulled her toward me. I unwrapped the condom quietly, and then entered her gently as she stirred with small sounds of sleepiness and sighs. We said nothing as I moved slowly against her, Skylar's hands clenched in mine, my face buried against her shoulder, nibbling on her skin. When our bodies shook, she kissed my hand and then promptly fell back asleep.

"Over a year," I answered. My voice was low, as if speaking too loud would break the night and ruin what had happened. But I knew it was real.

"How did you find out?"

Somehow, we had begun to talk about past relationships. Considering what had occurred in the last week, it made sense.

"Isabelle underestimated my friendship with Edward. Of course, it took him a few months to tell me," I said.

Skylar leaned up, resting on her elbows. Her hair framed her face and she looked confused.

"How did she think she could fake a relationship with you," she said and I cringed. "And not think that eventually you would find out?"

"Well, I guess she thought that it looked real, and then falling back with Edward would have been natural. It seemed real," I mumbled. I felt stupid telling Skylar all of this past relationship bullshit, more so because I was embarrassed to have been so naïve.

She smiled sympathetically and pushed herself up, throwing her leg over me. Her hands were tight around mine and held at her chest.

"She's a fool and if I ever meet this Isabelle, I'll be sure to smack her for you."

I couldn't help but laugh. Isabelle was much taller than Skylar, but definitely didn't have the spitfire that Sky possessed. There was no doubt that she could beat Isabelle, if she wanted. While Isabelle was pure drama, Sky was laidback. Isabelle cared what everyone thought of her, and Sky cared how those she cared for thought, and felt. I'd never met someone who was so attuned to other people's feelings. She could read me like one of her manuscripts, noting discrepancies and pointing them out gently, not crossing them out with a sharp red line.

"Well, I think I'm the fool for falling for her."

"How could you not? You liked her; you loved her. I mean, girls can be bitches. They can manipulate guys so they get what they want. Boys do it, too," said Sky dryly. "And no doubt she enjoyed being with you—how could she not—and not that I'm defending her," she added, "but I guess there was this passionate love for Edward that she couldn't get past. She just went about getting him back the wrong way."

I was silent for a few moments, processing what she said. Skylar fell back to the bed next to me, her arm across my chest.

"Did she ever apologize?" She asked after a few moments of silence. She was quiet, hesitant, with her voice muffled against my shoulder.

I shook my head, looking down to face her. "Didn't give her a chance. We had a big fight and I left."

"You didn't run into her again?"

"No, I mean I left. I left London and I moved here."

Her mouth fell open. She blinked a few times to absorb what I said.

"So I guess I should thank her because if I hadn't left, then I wouldn't have met you."

That seemed to clear the air and Skylar smirked. "I suppose."

I repositioned on to my side, pulling the sheet over us. I had turned on the air conditioner; now I would have welcomed a rush of the warm air from earlier.

"And how about Craig? Was it as horrible as Rachel alluded to?"

Skylar pursed her lips and looked past me. "Probably. It's different when you're in it, you know. You don't see it." I could see the pink bloom into her cheeks. "It's like, maybe some of your friends knew Isabelle was using you but you wouldn't see it while you're in the relationship. Hindsight, right?"

I nodded, letting her continue her train of thought.

"He was controlling, yes. But I let him control me. It was when my mom got sick and I guess I wanted someone to tell me what to do because I couldn't think. I was taking care of my mom, and I was tired. It was little things, at first. I'd say I wanted to do something, go somewhere, I don't know—just buy a sweater. He'd rattle off this list of reasons of why I shouldn't, call me silly or nonsensical, but then in the end say that if I wanted to do it, to go ahead. It was manipulative. I felt bad about the normal decisions I was making. But I let him tell me how I should act and who I should be friends with, and Rachel wasn't on that list, so it's no surprise that she hated him. I pushed back on my friendship with Rachel and really that's..." she paused, her eyes finally reconnecting with mine again.

Sky looked at me for a while as if she was trying to tell me something telepathically but I didn't understand. She closed her eyes and fell on to her back, her hand covering her stomach. Her slender fingers massaged the skin around her belly button, the sheet balled up in her other fist. Clearing her throat, she continued. "That's when it started to fall apart. The wedding plans were being finalized and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. My mom was dead. I'd been calling my brother everyday crying. I missed my mom, I just..."

She sighed deeply, her hand searching for me and holding on so tight like she wanted me to know the pain she had felt.

"So I called him and told him we needed to postpone the wedding and he flipped out." Skylar shrugged. "It was so weird because we had been together so long. We would fight, I'd forgive him, we'd break up, we'd get back together, but at that moment I just said, enough. It was over. I gave him back the ring. We hadn't even been living together. He tried to get back together with me, and I actually entertained the idea last fall."

I thought back to the fundraiser when I first met Skylar and remembered the guy she was holding hands with at the end of the night.

She exhaled loudly. "It was stupid. I was just lonely," said Skylar, and turned back to me. "It lasted less than a month before I couldn't stand him again and he was telling me what to do. By then I was back to myself and I didn't want to hear it." She squinted her eyes, turned over again, her arm thrown over my chest. "I guess that's when I met you. The first time," she smiled, warmth filling her eyes. "Too bad it took so long to meet you again. We could have been together all that time," she chuckled and kissed my shoulder, her hair tickling my skin.

I thought the same thing.