When We Were Young

Right Now

I walked. And walked. I wasn't really paying attention but I knew I was heading home.

Nate's words were ringing in my ears. I hadn't really thought about forever; I was happy with right now.

But why couldn't it be just us? Why couldn't we last?

The streets were filled with people. It was the holiday party season; the bars and restaurants were packed, the cabs all filled—not that I wanted one— the people were rushing around, and there was a lot of yelling.

I stood on the corner of Third and Fiftieth waiting for the light to change. A group of girls, drunken girls, stumbled to the corner and were laughing. I could smell the alcohol and for some reason, I was completely repulsed. I tried not to make eye contact but I couldn't help but stare. They were too loud to ignore.

"Hey, you're bleeding!"

My hand immediately flew up to my mouth, pulling away a few bloodied fingers from the gash. "Nah, I'm fine."

She was cute with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her dress was too short and she wore too much makeup. She mistook my staring as flirting and smiled. These are the girls that I'd be meeting out with Nate, I thought before immediately thinking of Skylar.

I turned quickly to step off the curb, nearly being swiped by a taxi speeding by.

"Jeez," I groaned before running across the street hands dug into my pockets to keep warm.

I hurried through the lobby and straight to the lift, back against the wall and eyes shut until the doors opened. I rushed down the hall to my apartment and for a fleeting moment when I was unlocking the door, I thought that Skylar might have been angry enough to go back to her place.

Everything was in its place when I stepped into the warm room, including her coat hanging on the rack next to the door. I smiled, kicked off my shoes and shrugged out of my coat. I turned off the lights and carefully opened the bedroom door, the creak echoing through the quiet apartment. The sounds of the city were muted when I closed the door; I could only hear Skylar's soft breathing.

She was resting on her side the way she usually slept, her arm outreached to normally drape across my body, except that I wasn't there. Her legs were twisted around the sheets, the bare skin of her thigh shimmering from the soft light coming through the window. She looked so peaceful and my heart shook with a sudden feeling of being lost.

I started to undress and made my way over to Skylar, sitting on the end of the bed trying not to wake her. The corners of her mouth twitched, her eyes fluttering under her eyelids. I watched her for a long time, the heaviness of my thoughts weighing on me.

If we weren't going to last together, then what were we doing? I couldn't imagine being with another woman, but more importantly, I couldn't imagine Skylar not being in my life. I wasn't sure of how long I watched her sleep but my eyes grew heavy.

My deep breath stuttered; my chest tightened when I ran my fingertips up her leg, thinking of the only two paths our relationship could go. She twitched and I stifled a laugh. I crawled toward her, no longer caring if she woke. Skylar rolled onto her back and I heard her sigh.

"Albert," she whispered. She watched me as I leaned over her, my hands still rubbing her legs and my gaze still intent on her.

"I'm sorry I left," I said quietly and leaned closer so I could kiss her.

She groaned a little, I wasn't sure if it was anger or just the sounds of waking up, but her fingers twisted in my hair so I assumed that she wasn't that upset with me. She opened her mouth and kissed me. I tucked my arm under her waist and pulled her body closer to me.