how I met my soul mate

the moment has come or has it

I wish I could say that night I was out of that hell hole sadly that wasn't the case. I think its been another three months, but I'm not sure. It feels like I've been here for years and my real life is no more than a memory of a dream I once had. But that all changes tonight I heard her talking to someone about her going somewhere. It will only be a few hours that she will be gone but that more than I need to escape.
It must be the time, cuz I just heard her leave, now my chance.
I pull out my paperclips and get to work on the lock to my cage. I wish I could tell you it was easy peasy and I got out in two minutes flat but it really took more like twenty. When I get back to civilization I'm learning how to do that shit faster.
Once I get the lock off and the door open I fall to the floor. "OUCH, I guess that's what happens when you dont walk for how ever the hell long it's been," I mumbled to myself.
Ok time to get the hell out of here! I make my way to the door and up a flight of stairs. "Man I'm so out of shape," I say as I wipe the sweat from my forehead. I keep moving and finally find a door to the outside. I open it find I'm in the middle of a forest. Great, well times wasting better get moving. I've been walking for maybe thirty minutes when I hear her yelling for me. OH HELL NO! I start running thank God my legs are working now cuz I'm not going back. Just then I notice I'm a lot faster than I used to be YES! I doubt she ment to give me super speed.
Just then shes only twenty five feet away. Holy crap maybe she did mean to give me that stuff, wait it makes perfect sense now, I was her Guinie pig because she was to chicken shit to try it on herself first.
Fuck must run faster, the next thing I know I'm being tased. I turn my head with great difficulty to see her finger pointing at me, damn it why can't I have taser fingers. Better yet the taser my cousin tried to give me last year.
This is it I can feel it in my nuggets she going to knock my ass out and I'll be back in that fucking cage. She is five feet away when we hear them. WOLVES their howls are getting closer. Lucky for me it distracts her long enough for me to get feeling back in my body and I take off. I'm heading towards the wolves. Between a quick death from them or a long torcherous life stuck with her I choose ... option three lead them to each other and get out of dodge.
Once I think they are close enough to each other I pull a hard right up ahead I hear water. Yes someone up there loves me.
Or so I thought till i came to the freaking waterfall. Who the hell did I kill in my past life? Come on! Just as I'm thinking about turning around and going a different direction you guessed it both groups exit the woods twenty feet apart behind me.
To jump would be suicide the fall alone would kill me. What do I do now? God give me a break or whoever is up there listening.