the devils right-hand man//petekey

more then best friends

mikey

i've never really been good at reading people. it's just hard for me to pick up what other people are feeling. although, i guess nobody can really know what others are feeling. i mean, i don't even understand my own feelings sometimes- how am i supposed to understand someone else's?

the only people i can really understand are my brother and frank. but to be fair, i've lived with gerard for 5 years...and frank and i were friends growing up.
i always know exactly what gerard is thinking and feeling. we're practically the same person, so it's easy for me.

oh, but then there's pete. he's such a mystery. i can either read him perfectly or be completely clueless to what's going on with him.

sometimes i think he might like me back and other times i'm not so sure. when he looks at me, his eyes sometimes linger on my lips- but he also gives off a 'no homo' vibe...if that even makes sense. i have no idea if he's into guys but i've never seen him with a girl before so theres really no telling.

but surely we're more then just best friends right? he can't just look at me like that and cuddle with me casually, right? again- he's such a mystery.

i'm honestly so close to just confessing my feelings to him. i know he's nice enough to let me down easily if the feelings aren't returned. he wouldn't want to lose me as a friend any less than i do- and theres also the possibility of him liking me back!

i'm going to do it. i'm going to confess.

i mean, what's the worst that could happen? pete turns out to be super homophobic and screams in my face? he wouldn't...do that... okay maybe this isn't such a good idea.

no, no. i can't chicken out now. realistically, the worst case scenario would be pete turning me down. things would probably be awkward for a while but nothing too bad, and then we could just go back to being normal friends.

best case scenario would be pete liking me back- that's what i'm hoping for but i'm trying to tell myself not to expect it. just so i won't be let down as much.

i turn to look over at pete. he's got a mouthful of popcorn with his eyes glued to the television. some teen-drama show is on but i don't really care enough to pay attention to it.

i quickly go over what i could say but i don't come up with anything. i usually have people to help me...whenever i had crushes as a kid, gerard would help me plan out what to say- but he isn't here right now, and i really need advice.

"pete...how do you, uh, tell someone you like them?" i mentally hit myself as soon as the words leave my mouth.

"well...like just tell them. don't stress about it too much. just say 'i like you', ya know? just tell them exactly what you're feeling, and be straight up with it" he says, still with his eyes on the tv.

i stay silent for a short moment before saying, "and what if they don't like me back?"

"then they're a fucking idiot." he looks at me and flashes a quick smile. i giggle at the statement and start thinking of what else i could say.

don't think about it too much. be straight up with it.

"pete?"

"yeah, mikeyway?" he looks back at me again.

i take a deep breath, "i like you."