Zombie Apocalypse: Survival

Chapter 37 | Will

“Come, we'll let you rest in our house,” The woman said, trying to ease the tense surroundings that we have.

I sighed heavily as I looked at others who nodded their head into me, but I quickly lowered down my gaze in fear that I could see judgment in their faces.

Lahat kami ay pagod, at halata sa kanilang mukha na hindi pa rin sila nakakaget over sa nangyari.

Every time that I look at them, the pain of losing comrades would've been inflicted into my beings again, reminding me of how incompetent a leader I am for making them sacrifice when we made a promise with each other that we will survive from this hella of an apocalypse together.

Because if I wasn't incompetent, maybe they're still alive, smiling happily in front of me from the fight we successfully defended. Maybe their face mixed with glee that's glowing under the shade of sun that became my home, for their presences could make me ease and gives comfort to my feelings, that even facing those terrifyingly, nervousness filled with tension adventures, as long as we're completed, we will face everything.

Maybe we aren't feeling like this.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin dahil hindi ko kayang salubungin ang kanilang mata.

They looked so drained, and I know that my face mimics the expression they're showing right now.

Hindi ko kayang salubungin ang kanilang paningin dahil nahihiya ako. . . o dahil natatakot ako na sa likod ng kanilang tingin ay ang galit, poot at sakit na aking pinakakinatatakusan sa ganitong pangyayari.

I would understand if they would be angry at me. It's normal, after all. It's just that, I'm not ready to face them yet, and I can run if I wasn't feeling like facing them, right? I could hide because I don't want them to see me in that state.

Hindi ako handang ipagmukha nila kung gaano ako kawalang kwenta—

“Come on,” the woman said, nudging my elbow a little that cut my thoughts.

Tumingin ako sa kanya, blanko ang mga mata, kasabay ng aking pagtango nang dahan-dahan.

I looked back at Zeon and gently nudged his arm that I'm still holding to get his attention. He looked at me as I've noticed how bad he's trying to calm himself by sighing heavily, with a slow rhythm, before he nodded his head, indicating that I should lead the way.

Tumingin ako sa babae at tumango upang ipahiwatig na ituro nya ang kanyang daan habang nanatiling nakahawak sa kamay ni Zeon, natatakot pakawalan na sa oras na iyon ay aking gawin, muli itong sumabog at hindi na mapigilan sa gustong gawin sa kaibigan.

I am mad at Dreyard, I blame him for what happened. But I know in myself that I also blame myself for being such incompetent, that I should've listened to these people first and hear their stories. . . that I should've trusted them first before pushing through with this plan that maybe, the outcome will be different.

Dahil doon ay humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay ni Zeon nang hindi ko namamalayan, at nang malaman iyon ay dahan-dahan kong niluwagan ang nanginginig kong kamay na nakahawak rito.

The woman gently let go of my elbow and left, which I followed her with my gaze and saw how she went to the man she's with, in which I watched how he holds her hand and intertwined it before they lead the way while carrying their bag full of solar panels inside.

Huminga ako nang malalim at nakayukong naglakad habang hawak ang braso ni Zeon na tahimik na sumusunod sa akin. Katahimikan ang namuno sa aming paligid.

This silence isn't something we always feel, the once calm ambiance, the once which is light and with ease. Because of this one, it's dark and tense, the heavy feelings linger within our hearts that no one has the guts to speak nor to make even a small conversation.