Severus Snape A Soul Undiminished

Chapter 36 - The Dark Lord

Sirana was very excited to get started in her new role as the new Combat Instructor. There wasn't much time left in the school year, but Dumbledore had said that a professor
named Umbridge had left unexpectedly, and they weren't going to replace her until the next year, so a new teacher would be a welcome distraction. She didn't ask why, but she got the impression that the students really didn't like the former Professor. She had already met Madam Hooch, and they hit it off nicely. Madam Hooch had helped her acquire the appropriate teaching wardrobe and supplies. She had more fun than she thought she would picking out her teaching attire. She chose tight breeches that lace up the front, soft soled boots, and a tunic that looked like it was something out of a pirate movie. She felt like she looked a bit like a swashbuckler when she was done. It's a bit romantic, she thought, like I'm in a movie. She had a stock of wasters for sword fighting, some pugil sticks, along with some mu ren zhuangs to use as practice dummies. She was going to meet her students soon—real witches and wizards in training— and she wanted to impress on them the importance of being able to defend themselves with more than just magic. By the midday meal, she was sure of one truth—children are
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children, whether they are magical or not. It had been a bit of controlled chaos at first, but within the hour, they had already started getting the hang of the drills. She was quite proud of them. She entered the Grand Hall, looking around for where to sit. Luckily, Madam Hooch caught up with her and took her over to sit next to her. She caught a glimpse of Severus. He looked regal, sitting at the large banquet table with the other professors. Dumbledore introduced her as the new teacher, Sirana sensei. She had been a martial arts teacher with a black belt back in the States, and had always enjoyed being called Sensei, so it seemed like an appropriate title for her new position. Severus caught her eye, and she thought he was looking at her with pride, and she felt flattered. The kids all applauded loudly. They made her feel pretty special too. After she finished her meal, several of the professors came to introduce themselves. She got to go home afterwards since she only had to teach morning classes, and she left for the day feeling welcomed.
When Severus came home later, he found her in the bathtub, soaking in a steaming bath.
"Has it been a month already?" Severus asked. "I've lost track. Rough day?" He sat on the edge of the tub.
"I've been keeping up my exercises, but I still feel like I'm going to be sore tomorrow. I went all out," she replied, smiling.
"I've heard that you've made quite the impression already, with the students and professors. It seems you've filled a niche that we didn't even know was needed," Severus said.
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"Well, that makes me feel good. I guess it makes sense. Not all students are interested in Quidditch, so this gives them a chance to participate in something athletic that isn't necessarily a team sport."
Severus removed his jacket, asking, "Have you charmed the water yet?"
"No," she answered. "I was hoping you would come home in time to do that."
Severus charmed the water, then removed the rest of his clothes and joined her in the bath. He sat at the other end of the tub from her, stretching out his legs in the hot water.
"Turn around. Let me wash your back," he suggested, and she complied. They took turns washing each other's backs, then lay soaking in the tub together until the water started to cool.
They moved to the sitting room after the bath. Sirana started the record player and turned it down low. She brought them a tray of bread and wine and settled in her chair.
"I would like to talk to you about some things I've been thinking about. My neighbors...I know you must have been close to them. I can't help but feel like I failed them somehow... failed you," Sirana said, looking down at her glass.
Severus thought about that night, along with everything that came before and after.
"Sirana, you mustn't harbor any feelings of regret or responsibility. There were a lot of circumstances leading up to
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that night, and the events that were set in motion before then have still not completely been resolved," he said solemnly. He was quiet for a minute, thinking of how best to start. "Lily," he started, then stopped again, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing, "Lily was my childhood friend when I had none. When we came to Hogwarts, we drifted apart. She meant more to me than I ever let her know. I am now tasked with protecting her son, who is presently a student here at Hogwarts."
Sirana was silent for a while, then said, "I'm sorry. I know she was special. I used to help her watch her boy on occasion. We were friends of sorts. She was always so sweet to me. She always seemed a little sad, but she loved her son more than anything. Why do you have to protect him? Is he in danger?"
Severus thought about it. It was time to tell her everything. Sirana meant the world to him, and he did not want to make the same mistakes he'd made in the past of not letting the person that mattered the most to him not know of his feelings. It was never easy for him to open up completely.
He put his head back against the back of his chair, looking up at the ceiling. Suddenly, he felt a warmth come over him, like the warmth of a cozy fireplace. Once again, he felt the familiarity he had felt before. He wondered if it was the connection he had with Sirana. He felt comforted, and it bolstered his courage. He sat up and asked Sirana to sit on his lap—she seemed too far away.
"From before the First Wizarding War, there was a powerful wizard. He used to be a student here at Hogwarts.
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He was powerful, but that wasn't enough for him. He didn't want to suffer the same fate as every other living being in this world—he wanted to live forever. Whether his desire for immortality was due to his fear of death or his desire for omnipotent power, I still do not know. This desire corrupted him, and he became malevolent, vicious...evil. His great power attracted others who wished to share in it." He reached to touch her face, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her cheek, continuing with deep regret in his voice. "After Lily drifted away from me, starting her own life with James, I felt lost...maybe angry at the cards I'd been dealt. I joined his ranks, and she never looked at me the same way again. I fear now that if you were to know the person I was, the things I have done, that you would no longer look at me the same way either."
Sirana looked at him at that, deep into his eyes. "I have seen into you, Severus. Maybe I haven't seen all of what happened in your past, but I know the person you are now. I know you more than I've known anyone before in my life. Whoever you were in your past, it is still a part of you—a part of what has made you who you are. You don't have to worry about me...my feelings for you are constant."
Severus reached up and brushed a tear that had fallen on her cheek. He pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly, and she felt his love for her. He continued, "He killed her—them. There was a prophecy that foretold of his death. The prophecy pointed to Harry, Lily's son. He went to kill Harry, and Harry was the only one to survive the attack. Lily sacrificed herself—and Lily and
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James, and the Dark Lord all died...and yet, the Dark Lord was reborn, and he lives still."
Sirana felt a chill in the room that Severus must have felt as well since he wrapped his arms around her tightly, as if to protect her from the cold. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, as she vowed to protect him as well.