‘Reality is never as bad as a nightmare, as the mental tortures we inflict on ourselves’ –Sammy Davis Jr.
Adrian POV
Ashley was not in a good mood today, that much was certain. The fact that she punched a bag completely off it's hook was not a god indicator and then when she snapped at Mason and Jack and Penny it was definitely obvious to those who are incredibly stupid. Luckily she had the brains to realise that she would do no good around people otherwise I don’t know what would have happened. She floated her way through classes, not really there. It was like she was just going through the motions of living without them actually having any meaning, she could be the living dead for all anyone knew. Even the teachers spotted it but didn’t call on it. Bat first break she completely disappeared completely only to reappear during class as the living dead. At lunch I decided to find her, my excuse was that I needed to schedule another tutoring lesson, but I really just needed to see if she was alright. Never had I ever seen anyone act like this and to be honest it kind of freaked me out, particularly as it was Ash. I started looking for her at the library, then the bleachers and then the edge of the woods with no avail. I was frustrated to say the least as I walked back towards the cafeteria when I saw Will.
“Hey, Adrian.”
“Will,” I greeted.
“Have you checked her locker yet?” he asked.
“No, do you really think Ash will be there though? It’s kind of open for her tastes.”
“Just try it, you could be surprised.”
“Nah, she won't be there.”
“You can't be sure until you look though.”
“Since when did you know so much about girls Will?”
“It was just a suggestion Adrian.” Something was off about his answer but I wasn’t sure what it was, I would investigate it later. However I followed his decision to look for Ash at her locker and I was surprised to find her there. She was curled into ball with her knees at her chest with shreds of her shirt surrounding her and, although it was barely perceptible, I could see that something in her had broken.
“Hey! Ash, are you alright?” I asked, trying to get her attention. She didn’t answer me and I began to worry.
“Adrian that was a stupid question, of course she isn’t alright,” Will said with a hard edge to his voice. Before I could respond he had walked away and left me with unanswered questions. I turned my attention back to Ash and sat beside her.
“Fiammella, are you going to tell me what this is all about?” I asked her softly and she shook her head. So this was all about her secrets, her elusive secrets that I was determined to pry out of her. But today was not the day. Instead I lightly put my arms around her, expecting Ash to shrug them off. When she didn’t I hugged her harder and I she relaxed a little into my arms. We sat like that for the rest of the lunch hour until the bell rung and they called an assembly for us seniors.
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The assembly was boring, something about camp in 2 weeks that we needed to pay for. The camp itself sounded pretty good, it was going to be on the beach in front of some mountain but not everyone was going.
“Are you going to the camp Ash?” I asked her after school.
“Definitely, I need to get away from here,” she replied. I figured that it was because of those goddamn secrets she was hiding. They were really starting to annoy me because every day that I got closer to Ash the more she revealed her real self, so every day that she retreated back into herself I noticed it and I noticed how broken she really was. The saying ‘balanced on the edge of a knife’ applied with Ash as I wasn’t sure what would break her and when but eventually it would happen. Hell, the girl hadn’t cried since she was 8 and she kept everything inside herself, one she would self combust because it was inevitable. She had trust issues and day by day she was trusting me more and more and one day I wanted to be the person she told everything. I had a feeling that day would be the day she broke, I hoped to be the one who could provide her comfort. The truth was that I knew that I would never figure out her secrets unless she told me, I could only guess because she was too good at hiding them and there was no way that anyone could get past it. It was truly amazing how she had shielded herself away from everyone, playing the façade of a good girl so that she could become invisible until she properly healed. Which would never happen, she was emotionally incapable of it. What Ash needed was someone to share those secrets with so she didn’t have to bare the burden alone, but she didn’t trust anyone enough. I could bet my life that her parents didn’t know the full extent of her secrets but I could also bet that they knew what they were and wouldn’t tell me if I asked, they seemed to personal for them to share. From what I had gathered I could only tell this about her secrets:
-It wounded her (physically and emotionally) so much that she could never really heal and very few things could do that to a person.
-She needed distractions to get her mind off it so she took up lots of hobbies, but only stuck with a few of them
-It was most likely 2 events
-The horror movie we were watching had some significance to those events, I just needed to figure out what
-She blames herself for something that happened in her past
-Ash is not only guilty but also angry
-She hates showing any weakness
It felt as though I was trying to do a puzzle but I only had the edge pieces, the middle ones were all lost. Lost but could be found if I really tried.
I mulled over this as I dropped Ash home I realised that I couldn’t go home, not yet. So I drove to Caine’s house and we discussed the few things that we had discovered about Ash.
Sorry this chapter is so short… expect slightly shorter chapters from now on because I have started school again and my time is now limited, especially since dance starts tomorrow and I dance most days on top of homework and school. I NEED SLEEP so I won't be up until ridiculous hours writing. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this weeks update!! COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK ONE OF ASH’S SECRETS IS.
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Unchain Me
Teen Fiction'I had guilt that ate me out from the inside and made me want to throw up. Guilt that started as a young child and continued to fester until I was doomed to break. I knew that one day I would shatter like glass. I just wasn't sure if anyone would be...
