Honey (BxB)

~90~

Jake

Dylan came to class today. After four days of taking leave..... I wanted to apologize to him.... I wanted to tell him how sorry I am but Tristan and Jesse didn't let me talk to him. I was ready to go to his house and talk to him but they said it wasn't the right time. 

I waited for four days......I have to talk to him today because the guilt is eating me up...

The past few days have been so awkward between Jesse, Tristan, and me. Jesse never says anything when I'm with them... I know he's angry at me... He should be because I did such a terrible thing to his best friend. If anyone messes with Tristan, then I would act like this too.... I might beat them up too... 

Tristan tried to reassure me that everything will be alright. But he didn't talk so much when we were with Jesse. 

I feel so guilty to think that not only I've ruined my friendship with Dylan but also I managed to mess up the group of people I trust the most... 

I looked at Dylan who was quietly eating his lunch at another table. He didn't want to sit with us.... 

Jesse went to give him company but Dylan told him to sit with Tristan because he wanted to have some time alone. Jesse was reluctant at first but then complied hesitantly. 

I can't sit back and be a jerk anymore. I'm going to talk to him. I have to apologize and make things right. 

I waited for him to finish his lunch because I knew he might abandon his lunch and run away when he sees me. I can't let that happen. He's losing so much weight... I can see the difference. He doesn't seem to be eating healthy.... It's making me worry. 

His blonde hair is all over the place, it seems like he didn't put any effort into brushing it. His eyes look puffy.....and his hazel eyes don't shine anymore like they used to. 

I took in his appearance. He looked paler than usual and his hands were trembling slightly as he took small bites of his lunch. 

The marks were still visible on his neck. Even though he wore a scarf to hide them, some of them still managed to show their appearance. 

I did that to him.... 

I had sex with him..... 

I tried to remember what happened that night but I couldn't recall anything. Everything seems so vague and blurry.... 

I feel so shitty for doing that to him. The blood on the sheets was an obvious sign that the sex was a painful one for him...

I hurt him in many ways.... 

"I'm going to talk to him," I said as I got up. Jesse looked at me alarmed while Tristan frowned.

"Jake, you know that's not–" 

"No, I have to apologize to him. I can't stay here and act like it's going to be okay. I have to make this okay." I cut off Tristan and walked to where Dylan was sitting. 

He was reading something attentively that he didn't see me coming. "Dylan," I called but he didn't look up. "Dylan!" I slightly raised my voice to snap him out of his reading. 

His eyes grew wide as he looked at me. He closed his book and tried to take everything that was scattered around on the table. "Dylan, I need to talk to you," I calmly said, trying not to freak him out. 

He didn't bother to listen as he continued to take his books. He looked like he was about to cry. "Dylan, please calm down. I have to tell you something." I tried to convince him to stay.