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[28] CHAPTER REVIEW: A Different Kind Of Crazy (Contemporary Fiction)

A Different Kind Of Crazy by killerbeanqxeen killerbeanqxeen

Chapter1||Sunflower (Chapter Title)
Contemporary (Genre)
Consequences (Themes)
First Person Past (consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌝🌚🌚🌚)

---------------- 1.04.2021 -----------

Let me just start off by saying that I love the title name. I also think the cover works well though I'm usually not interested in either when I review.

Being from the Caribbean, I had to resist the urge to charge you a black tax for this review. But it's something we often pay and the fact that you started your chapter the way you did means I must mention it.

I nearly stopped at the intro. The fact that she was not allowed to play with the other kids led me to believe that she had super powers or a great gift. I was immediately curious. Then when her race came into play, I could not tell if this was the reason she couldn't play with them, or a separate issue. And why would she lose friends because she was black? She'd always been black, so it stands to reason that she wouldn't have gotten friends in the first place. Personally, I'm tired of hearing about race. That goes for the opening chapters gushing about people's blue eyes and porcelain skin for a white character, or this type of heavy introduction of a POC character.

That being said, I'm glad I didn't stop reading because I enjoyed the rest of the chapter. The characters themselves were distinct and brought a lot to the dynamic of the story. I wish we got more detail about how the grandmother died, however, as I think it would raise the tension a great deal.

I loved the sunflower reference.. The positive message resonated well. And I will say that although dream and 'wake up' openings rarely worked, this time you pulled it off.

The chapter is plagued with errors, however. Nothing that you can't clean up easily. A quick google search for 'dialogue tags' and 'how to format dialogue' would make the chapter shine. In my Manuscript Critique book, you can find TUTORIALS on how to format dialogue and that'll go a long way to making your writing get the credit it deserves.

The story itself is interesting thus far, but I don't know what's to come. I don't know what sort of story it is. Plain and simply, I'm unsure what the genre is. The first chapter should give us a taste of what the book's about. It should show us a life-changing decision/event that sets this story in motion. I'm not sure if that's present. If it is, we need a bigger hint of it.

I did like the tone of the story, too. The realism and even the introduction of the best friend was refreshing and original. If you ever need a deep edit, I'd be more than happy to give you a hand. But for now, let's focus on what we have. The reader must be told a few things:

1 - What's the genre?
2 - What does this book have to offer? (Murder, mystery, mayhem?)
3 - What's the MC's big problem?
4 - What's a possible solution to this goal?
5 - What stands in her way?

With these factors in play, your chapter 1 will be solid. Even if you don't change much, I think the way it is now can still be enjoyable. I'd say this story is character driven, based on what I've read thus far. But I'm still left wondering...what's the genre??

Prologue?
Skipped. As a rule, I do not read prologues.

Does this need an edit?
Yes. There are some dialogue tag and formatting issues. The punctuation is shaky. The plot needs to be established as well.

Would I read on?
Yes/No. Without a clear idea of...
A. the clear conflict
B. hints of what's to come (quest, adventure, romance, power struggle)
C. a clear possible solution for the MC
...then I wouldn't be too eager to jump to the next chapter.

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