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[10] CHAPTER REVIEW: As If It's Your Last (Boy Band Fiction)

As If It's Your Last by leviuun leviuun

Chapter 1 (Chapter Title)
Contemporary (Genre)
Fame (Themes)
First Person / Third Person Omniscient (inconsistent tenses)
Suspense level (🌝🌗🌚🌚🌚)

---------------- 12.06.2020 -----------

The author notes warned English wasn't your first language but I will say that I thought the chapter read smoothly, language-wise. There was no great grammar problem to address. A few things here and there were confusing but I think that's because i'm not familiar with some terminology that's used here. That didn't hamper my enjoyment of your chapter.

We get introduced to a lot of characters in the first chapter but the setup prepared us for that. I will admit that I did not retain all their names beyond the leader but that was okay.

The main character, I think, is the woman who manages them. It's interesting to see things from her perspective.

I'm confused because at first she refers to their relationship as that of "parent and child" but later on goes on to describe their looks in great detail.

My biggest concern about this first chapter is that I left it not knowing, "What is the problem?" What is the conflict? What's at stake? What is the solution? What is the book about? What's to come?

I didn't see a hint of these things by the end of the chapter, therefore, I did not know what to expect from this story. Usually, I don't read blurbs before I dig into a story. As of now, without knowing that blurb, there wasn't enough information to let me know what the book might have later on: magic? Mystery? Drama? Humor? That's yet to be seen.

Prologue?
Skipped. As a rule, I do not read prologues.

Does this need an edit?
Yes. The verb tenses shift from past to present at times.

Would I read on?

Without knowing what may be in this book (magic, mystery, romance, drama, etc), it's hard to say without a doubt that I'd keep going. I don't see a visible hook, but the chapter wasn't difficult to read. In fact, I was surprised that it was cute. I learned a lot of cool terms, but without that clear problem (that conflict) it'd hesitate to continue. P.S. I LOVE the title.