[2] CHAPTER REVIEW: Reagan Economics (Paranormal)

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Reagan Economics by Merick Bishop (brhr14)

Another Day, Another Dollar (Chapter Title)
Paranormal (Genre)
Silence vs. Responsibility (Themes)
First Person Past (Breaking the 4th Wall) (consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌝🌝🌗🌚)

---------------- 11.27.2020 -----------

CHAPTER 1 Review

I believe this is my SECOND book I've encountered from you and once again, you know how to get a reader's attention. It's what you do with it after the fact that concerns me a bit.

I admire your skill in knowing how to get people involved.

Anti-climatic isn't a word I'd ever use with you or your work. It hits the ground running and it picks up momentum as it zips by. There's a thrill to that, and since I know some of your work, it's exciting to just let go and allow the story to take me where it wants.

I'm putting on the brakes this time, however.

Let me give my disclaimer that his is my opinion.

Taking me back in time on a first date? My, don't we like to live dangerously?

While I am interested in Exo, I don't like/or know him enough to get into a tinted time machine van, going to an undisclosed location on the first meeting.

As clever as you did this, I can't let the 'DOUBLE STARTS' go unchecked. You start this story twice, once more than was necessary. The flashback (in my opinion) needed to be the start or a flashback for a later time, or maybe even a heartfelt secret he shared with a love interest.

I.e.

"Why do you do that? Why are you such a prick?"

"I'm not a prick. I'm just honest."

"Well, could you...turn it off when you're around me? Just for a minute? Just stop judging, stop blurting out people's thoughts. Just...stop."

And then go into the story:

"No, because when I do, people die."

As is, because I don't know him well enough, the flashback had little to no impact on me while I can see that this is ONE powerful scene. It should either be what drags us in or what drags us deeper.

It's like getting two layers of frosting before the first had time to dry. It just sort of blends in and doesn't stand out on its own.

I'd say switch the order of events or shift it around. However you want to go about it, that's going to be up to you. But for me, right now, that flashback on the first date is like being brought to a VERY special and emotional place with this person I've just met. Although I know how to feign sorrow, deep down, it just didn't hit me because I don't care about this character (date) yet. But when I do, it'll mean the world to me to be here.

Does this need an edit?
Yes. Too many, TOO MANY adverbs.

Would I read on?
Yes. I will read on as far as I can go. I'll also add this to the currently under review list.

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