[4] CHAPTER REVIEW: The New Math Teacher (Fan Fiction)

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The New Math Teacher ( Michael Clifford) By DaniG2007 DaniG2007

Chapters 1 - 4 (Chapter Title)
Fan Fiction (Genre)
Abuse & Power (Themes)
First Person Past (somewhat consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌝🌗🌚🌚)

---------------- 11.28.2020 -----------

A lot happens in chapter 1 and it made me curious enough to keep going. I ended up reading all four chapters. They aren't that big and it stays in the action which I think is your best feature. I'm sure you know just how badly this needs an edit. But since it appears you're doing this mostly for fun, I think that edit can wait for now.

I'll try to focus on the biggest problems first: the cast.

There are so many characters introduced back-to-back that it becomes difficult to keep track of who is talking as well as who they are. I think I counted about 6 or 7 different names.

Abi is the main character. She seems pretty level-headed but ends up dating a boy who is physically, and perhaps even emotionally, abusive.

That's an amazing and strong topic to address in this genre. You have my respect.

But we need a guide. In real life, we have tons of friends around us. That's fine in fiction, too, but imagine going to a party where ten people are trying to talk to you at the same time; it's overload. I felt this way reading about new characters back to back without ever getting to know them.

Can any two of them be combined into one? Is that possible?

Chapters read?
Four.

Does this need an edit?
Yes. But it's best if you FINISH the story first. There's no need to edit before that.

Would I read on?

I think you tease the read enough to have them continue. Unfortunately, as a teacher, I cannot (will not) read a story where a teacher and a student end up together intimately. I hope you understand.

But your story is your story and you should write for yourself. Keep writing and keep on till you're done. Then write some more after that. When you are ready and able to edit, THAT'S when you should worry about it. I don't think you need an edit for a while. Just let those creative juices flow and enjoy yourself!

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