Apex [h.s]

chapter eleven

i love mitch rowland more than i love myself.

Frankie Doyle

November

I could not have been more disappointed when my alarm went off at 6:45am on Friday morning. I was really starting to regret telling Harry that I would come early to the practice races with him. I just wanted to be asleep.

I loved sleep for a lot of reasons; the lack of responsibility when your eyes were closed, the coziness of being wrapped up in a duvet, but most of all, I loved to dream.

I loved that in dreams literally anything is possible, from flying to loving someone you never knew. In dreams you can feel so many emotions and explore different worlds. It was like a gateway to the billions of stars, just out of reach from our conscious mind. The only downfall is... they always end.

As I stretched my hands above my head, I tried to piece together the dream I was having only moments ago, but the images evaded me. I was only left with the feeling of pure happiness I had experienced.

That happiness completely deflated when I remembered what happened yesterday and how we agreed that from today onwards, it couldn't happen again.

Brooklyn and I agreed a long time ago that we were gonna stay away from race car drivers... Why didn't I listen?

I pulled myself out of bed before slowly padding over to the shower. As the water ran down my body, I made a promise to myself; that I wouldn't wallow. I was going to look forward to all of the amazing things coming my way and appreciate them, instead of focusing on what I couldn't have.

I pulled out my adidas leggings from my bag, along with a cropped plain white t-shirt. If there's anything I knew about racing, it was that the days were long and hot, so I was going for comfort over cute.

It had taken my a lot less time to get ready than I had anticipated, so I considered calling Brooklyn, but quickly decided against it when I looked at the time 6:58am... I thought a text might be better received.

To Brooks, 6:58am: Hello my love! Just checking in to make sure everything is okay at home and my chunk of a cat is behaving himself. I'm just about to head to the race track, but call me when you can... I have some things to tell you... Love you x

Just as I hit send, I heard a knock at my door. I took a deep breath, ready to face the man that I am just friends with.

"Morning," he smiled, "How did you sleep?"

"Morning, I was so comfy, I didn't want to get up," I laughed.

"I know the feeling," he replied.

"Do you need any help with you gear?" I asked as I put my backpack on.

"That would be great, thank you," he said gratefully as he passed me one of the three bags he was holding

We walked in silence to the car. We both knew we had so much that we wanted to say, but we couldn't.

"So," Harry started as we drove towards Highlands Motorsport Park, "As we are newly appointed friends, what is it that you like to do for fun? Friends go out and do fun stuff together, so I don't see why we should be any different?"

I sighed, "Do you really think that's the best idea? To be spending so much time together?"

"Look, I know this sucks, but we make a good team and we get along well. Let's make the most of it?" 

I knew he was right and truthfully, I really did enjoy spending time with Harry. It was one of those friendships that just flowed. You didn't need to put in any effort with each other.