Apex [h.s]

chapter forty nine

this is a double update, you can read chapter fifty straight after this :)

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Song: Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Harry Styles

March

Each time they brought Frankie back into the hospital room, I felt my heart break even more. Her eyes were closed, but I could see pain written all over her face.

Brooklyn seemed numb when she saw Frankie. I remember her face had drained of all its colour and she froze.

Benji on the other hand was borderline inconsolable. He kept saying that he couldn't see another member of his family confined to a hospital bed, that he couldn't lose her too.

I think I was somewhere in between. My mind when through phases where I felt like I couldn't move. The sight of her alone trapped me where I sat. Then it's like a switch would flick and I was overcome with emotion. In those moments it was like I was fully registering what I had just witnessed and I didn't know whether to cry, scream or vomit.

I was comfortable with being vulnerable around Frankie. I didn't care that she saw a side of me that some would say was weaker; but with her family, I wasn't so sure.

Each time I felt like I was getting overwhelmed, I would excuse myself, using some empty reason.

I never thought I'd be here again...

Sitting in an empty hospital hallway with my knees tucked into my chest as I let tears flow freely.

Each emotion that I felt was like a shard of glass trying to pierce my heart. I was so fucking frustrated that I couldn't do anything to help. I was heartbroken, seeing her so hurt. But most of all, I was so fucking scared.

I didn't know the extent of her injuries yet. I didn't know how bad she was hurting or how what she had been through might effect her.

In that moment, I couldn't stop the sob from escaping my mouth as I buried my face into my knees.

I dug my nails into my skin, trying to give myself something to focus in that wasn't the dread that was drowning me.

My tears were burning hot against my skin, leaving wet patches of the soft material of the track pants that the hospital had lent me.

I needed my mind to be anywhere...anywhere but here.

Just yesterday we were living such a normal life. We had normal stresses. We spent our time laughing and loving, just like any normal couple would do.

How did it all change so quickly?

Why is it that Frankie is always the one who gets hurt?

I hadn't even registered anyone else's presence until I felt a light hand rest on my shoulder.

Crouched in front of me was Brooklyn. Her chest was shaky with each breath that she took. As she looked at me, her face was emotionless, but her eyes were screaming with worry.

"Come for a walk with me?" Her voice was hollow. It was such a change from the loud carefree girl that I was used to.

I took a moment to pull myself together before I pressed myself up off of the cold tiled floor.

For a while, neither of us said a word. We roamed the white halls until we were eventually outside.

The autumn afternoon sun was surprisingly warm. I new that if Frankie were out here right now, she'd be gushing over how the leaves on the trees were changing and how the air was getting crisper.