Apex [h.s]

chapter fourteen

Frankie Doyle

February

To say I was nervous for this weekend would be an understatement. There are so many new things and to be entirely honest, I was completely overwhelmed by the though alone.

It was my first weekend as an official V8 driver. My first weekend on the track, competing against seventeen other men who were far more experienced on the track than I was. I knew that I wasn't aiming to win the championship at this point. I had missed out on the entire first half of the season, so making up the points I needed to win would be practically impossible. Instead, I was using this time to learn on the job in a sense, so that next season, I would be ready from the first green light.

It also happened to be Benji's first weekend back on the track after his crash. So not only did I have the general pressure of racing, I had family pressure on top of that. Although I'll admit, I'm interested to see how Benji races without me as his engineer.

On top of all of this, Harry's birthday is on the first day of actual races. I haven't celebrated a boyfriends birthday in over two years, so I was feeling quite anxious about it.

Over the past month, Harry and I have been going out to different race tracks with our team to get some practice for me in. It was such a different feeling begin behind the wheel instead of a monitor, knowing that I was going for more than just a joy ride around the track. I was practicing to kick some male driver ass...

With each practice I did, I got better and better. My confidence in my ability grew and I had Harry and my team cheering for me every step of the way. Harry ended up getting a much better data analyst for the second half of the season, and the one they hired for me seemed pretty good too.

I couldn't help but feel daggers of anxiety pierce my brain as I pulled into the race track. Brooklyn and I arrived at the track at 7:30 am on the Thursday morning for the practice races and I felt like I could climb a mountain and curl up under my sheets at the same time.

Harry was already at the track. Our pits had been stationed right next to each other's.

"Morning baby," I smiled, wrapping my arms around him as he leant up against his car.

"Morning love," he said, looking to make sure no one was around before pressing a kiss to my lips.

How does this man still give me butterflies when he kisses me?

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Honestly? I'm feeling all over the place. I'm so excited and ready, but at the same time I'm terrified and feel so out of my depth. Like, what if there was a reason I was behind the computer instead of racing-"

"Frankie, we both know you are a natural talent when it comes to racing. You are allowed to be nervous, but you aren't allowed to doubt yourself. Do you hear me?" He interrupted sternly.

"I hear you," I sighed.

"I hate to interrupt, but safety briefing is in like two minutes. You might want to head over!" Brooklyn called from my pit.

"Alright Sunshine," he smiled, putting his arm around my shoulder, "Let's go."

We had decided that while we were at the track, we didn't want anyone to know we were in a relationship. It would only give people things to talk about and as a beginning driver, that was the last thing we needed.

It felt weird being at the safety briefing as a driver. I found myself listening more intently to what the officials were saying.

It caught Benji's eye a few times throughout the briefing, but he would always look away. I decided that I wasn't going to make an effort with him. He fucked up and said some really hurtful things and although I was over it, he needed to be the one to patch things up. I already had enough to deal with.