Apex [h.s]

chapter twenty four

Song: Ever Since New York, Harry Styles

Oh, tell me something I don't already know.

~

Frankie Doyle

August

It's kinda funny how quickly things can change...

One day everything is fine, the next it's not. It all happens as suddenly as turning off a light or clicking your fingers. 

The power that words hold, the way that they can change the way you think and feel in a split second never ceases to astound me. The way learning new information can literally change the way you see the world...

I wanted to go back. I wanted to change the events leading up to today. 

If I had know earlier...

I couldn't help the guilt that coursed through my veins. I know that I couldn't control what happened, but I could've given more time.

I should've given more time.

People always say everything happens for a reason. But that might just be the least comforting load of shit I've ever heard. It's just something people tell you when they don't know what to say or how to comfort you. That way they still feel like it helps. Just incase you weren't aware...it doesn't help.

I knew when Benji told me to come over to the family home, something was wrong.

I knew when he told me to bring Harry with me, something was really wrong.

He hadn't called me since I joined Harry's race team and he always tried to avoid Harry. Even when Harry had come to family dinners, Benji did everything in his power to ignore him.

I had never heard Benji sound so urgent.

"Hey, I know this is really short notice, but can you please come to the house?" His voice had sounded through my phone as laid on the floor, with Ziggy on my stomach.

"Benji, what's wrong?" My heart had instantly dropped to my stomach.

"Just please, come to the house. You need to come to the house." His voice was faltering.

"Benj, you're freaking me out," I was beginning to panic.

"Fuck, I know. I'm sorry. Just please, as soon as you can, get here. Bring Harry."

"O-Okay, I'll send you a text when I'm on my way." My voice was shaking.

Harry was at work when I called him, trying to organise some sponsorships for the upcoming race season.

"Hey, Sunshine. I can't really talk right now," Harry had said in a rushed voice.

"I know, you're busy, I'm sorry," I breathed shakily. 

"Wait, what's wrong baby?" He asked.

"Benji just called me. He said we need to go over to my parents as soon as possible. He didn't tell me what's going on, but I know something is wrong Harry. I could hear it in his voice," I could feel tears prickling my eyes.

"Fuck. Okay, give me ten minutes and I'll be on my way. Do you want me to pick you up on the way?" He offered.

"Okay," I whispered.

"I love you." I knew he was trying to reassure me, but that didn't stop my heart from beating out of my skin.

"I love you," I said at a barely audible level.