The downfall of Viscount Bridgerton

chapter thirty four - nerves

Having returned home from her walk with Lord Harding and the others, Aurora was left in a state of absolute emotional incoherence and, instead of greeting the rest of her family like she usually did, ran straight to her room.

She then crawled onto her bed and cried.

Cried for what she had lost. She had never felt so guilty in her who entire existence. The poor Viscount Bridgerton was trying his hardest to be kind and welcoming to her and she was busy spending her time contemplating how her life would have been different had she married another man.

Aurora wanted desperately to love the Viscount. There was no other thought that gave her greater joy, but she simply felt as though she couldn’t do it. They weren’t right for each other.

Whatever affection she had previously felt for him was based purely on physical attraction - something which she still felt awful about - and despite the wedding being in two days time she still knew nothing of the man.

At first, she had not realised it. But now Aurora was quite aware of the fact that she had purposely avoided getting to know the Viscount. And at what cost?! She was still going to marry him!

‘I have been such a fool’ she thought to herself as she cried into her sheets.

Having heard Aurora’s entrance into the house, Julius and his brothers were surprised that Aurora did not greet them in her usual fashion. Normally she would at least put her head around the door to mark her return.

The pounding forts tape and slamming door did not ease his concern and he rapidly followed her steps up to the room.

“Aurora?” Came his call from outside. “Can I come in?”

She did not respond but merely sobbed louder into her hands. Black ink ran down her face and her hair had become an absolute mess through her attempts to untie it but quite frankly she did not care.

Julius took her cries to mean he should enter and, upon doing so, he immediately spotted her broken face as she lay heaped in the centre of the bed.

Running to her he leapt onto the bed and cocooned her into a hug, gently stroking her hair and untangling it with his fingers - all of the Grey family knew this was the most effective way to calm her.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry little star. I’m here” he crooned as he rocked her in his arms, their previous spat long forgotten.

“I can’t - I can’t marry him!” Sobbed Aurora through her tears. Her nose had started to run and Julius had to wipe it with her handkerchief as she showed now signs of doing so herself.

“Why not? What has be done?” Julius tried to be gentle whilst still coaxing the information from her - a difficult task for the poor boy.

“I do not love him and - and he deserves better - he - he -“

“Shhhh, it is nerves. That is all.”

Aurora struggled to get out of his grip. He did not understand! It was not nerves! It was more than that. But regardless, Julius’ hold on her was iron strong - for he knew she needed him now more than ever.

They did not say anything else for some time, remaining in a comfortable silence until their thoughts were broken by Aurora’s bedroom door bursting open to reveal the Duke and Duchess of Hastings.

Simon swept his gaze over the pair and gently marched forward, prying Aurora from her brother’s hold and hugging her.

Julius felt slightly annoyed at the Duke’s actions. He knew that the two shared a close bond - they had since childhood - but he hated that she was more comfortable turning to him that two her own brother.

For sure, Aurora perceived Hastings to be an additional brother but sometimes her true siblings felt hurt by the affection she showed him. She was their actual sister after all. They had a right to protect her.

“Aurora, what has happened? Can we help you?” Daphne’s calming voice helped to ground the room and quell the emotional battle inside Aurora’s mind.

“Some water perhaps, and something to eat? I have not had anything since breakfast” she paused before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“You are worried about the marriage aren’t you?” Perceived Hastings, “Let me tell you this; Anthony adores you and he is much happier regarding the marriage than you might anticipate. Open yourself up to him and I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised at his reception of you.”

Aurora looked up at him, “are you sure?”

“Absolutely. And I’m willing to wager you’ll be hopelessly in love within a month of your marriage.”

She giggled and took some of the bread Daphne offered her.

“I doubt it.”

“You should not” came Daphne’s wise response. “Simon is quite right. You will fall in love and before you realise it these trials will be long forgotten. And I can certainly vouch for Anthony when I tell you that he is a good man. I mean it.”