Always Been You

This Stays Between Us

 "So you're an engineer, how's that?" I ask the guy sitting in front of me. "It's cool." I take a big sip of my drink. "Nice." He looks down at his phone and starts texting. I tap my nails on the table and look around. Right about now I regret coming out on this date. This was my 3rd flop date of the week. I think I was done after the first one. But I wanted to keep trying. Clearly, tinder is not working for me. I pay my portion of the bill and go back home. It's just 7 pm on a Friday night. On my Lyft ride home, I text the infamous group chat.

Me: This guy had to be the driest of them all

Jacob: LOL. How unfortunate.

Nicole: You are just picking the wrong guys!

Alia: SIS. Are you still with this loser?

Me: NO. I dipped. On the way back.

Nicole: Come to Maggie's. We're heading there in a few

Alia: Yeah, they have happy hour!

Jacob: Ahem, How come I was not aware of this?

Nicole: It was gonna be girls night out... But I guess you can come

Jacob: No, thank you. I have different plans for tonight 😜🍆

Alia: OKuRrRRRRR!

I tell the driver to change the address. Maggie's is a lowkey club by the campus where a lot of students go to get drinks. I really don't want to feel like a bum and go home thus wasting my makeup and outfit. Granted it's just a pretty fitted top, it's still something. As I get there before the girls, I find a spot in the corner and sit down. I order a martini as I wait. I scan the room and recognize a few faces. I take sips as I observe the people around me. "Hey hey," Nicole chirps, interrupting my thoughts. She sits next to me, and Alia takes the chair. They order their drinks and we start the night. Once they settle in, I tell them more about my date and how bad it was.

"Well, yeah he was cute. But I don't think he was cute enough to just make out with you know," I say. "Ugh, that's so tragic. We need to find a guy for her," Nicole says looking at Alia. Then they start whispering to each other and look around the room.

"Okay I know you've had a rough couple of days but let me and Nicole find a guy for you," Alia suggests. I shake my head. "Guys, NO! This dating thing is obviously not for me. Let's just leave it and have fun! Just us girls," I tell them. I take another sip of my drink and wave my hands with the beat. They both suspicious look at each other. "What?"

"Well.,. We kinda invited our guys," Nicole slowly says. I roll my eyes and shake my body in annoyance. "So why was this labeled girls night?" I ask. "So you would actually come out. We knew you'd go back home if we told you." They were right. But I had to be a little dramatic about it.

I flip my hair and get up. "I'm going to get another drink for myself," I announce and stomp my foot. 

I walk over to the bartender and ask for a Bay Breeze, which is basically different juices with vodka. "It's a little busy but I'll get it for you as fast as I can," the bartender tells me. I take a seat on the barstool and I rest my head on my hand as I wait. "Why do I always find you by the drinks?" I lift my head up and find Kyle looking over the drinks behind the counter, and then at me.

"Well, let's be clear. Once before," I fake a smile. He takes a seat next to me. "An old fashioned please, and another one of whatever she ordered," he requests the bartender. "You know I don't really need you pitying me, and feel like you need to give me company," I emphasized. He angles his body to face me. "I know. I chose to sit here." I look at him for a few seconds and then look away. I play with the straw floating in my drink. "We never got to finish our conversation the other night," he tells me. "Well, I'm not the one who left so..." He scratches his forehead in response. "Right."

"That's my bad. I got caught up and they were yelling my name outside," He starts explaining himself. "I really don't need to hear an explanation. It's whatever," I cut him off. He raises his eyebrow. "Okay, normally you don't talk this much. I like this feisty side."

"Yeah, it's because I cared too much about what I could say to you at first. You being this hot guy or whatnot. But at this point, nothing matters," I say, downing the rest of my drink. Kyle's gaze remained on me as I told him off. "You're something else aren't you," he says putting down his glass. "I bet you say that to every girl," I say. He chuckles and leans closer. His mouth is right by my ear. "Nah, only you." A chill runs through my body. Why is this working on me right now?

(Song Suggestion: Redbone by Childish Gambino)

I find myself in the backseat of Kyle's car. His back was pressed up against the left door, and my body was hovering over his. His hands started caressing my back and even lower. We were nearly out of breath, but neither of us was ready to let go of each other. I don't know if it was the alcohol acting, or just me letting go. Eventually, my gaze lands on the windows, which were now completely covered in fog.  I finally pull away from him and catch my breath. My lipstick was smeared all over his chin and mouth. I begin to wipe it off with my thumb. Kyle was breathing heavily and kept looking at me. His right hand was resting in my hair. "That was.." he begins to say. "Unexpected? Yeah," I complete his sentence. "And fun," he adds. I could feel myself blush. I think it just hit me that I just full-on made out with Kyle in the backseat of his vehicle. I get up and sit across from him. I put my hand on my forehead in distress. 

"What just happened?" I question myself. He sits up and lets out a few laughs. "Call it what it is. A hook-up" I give him a glare. "Do not call this a hookup. We only made out." He puts his hands up in defense. "Alright, alright."

"You're not as innocent as I thought you'd be," he adds. "Well, you don't know me. You barely even got my name right for the past three years," I refute. A smirk slowly grows on Kyle's face. "That's just me being an asshole. I always knew your name is Kristina. It's just an ego thing that I am guilty of," he admits. Guys are literally a different species. I don't understand.

"I'm sorry though. If I ever made you feel... Some type of way for acting like a dick." I can't believe Kyle is confessing to me right now at this moment. I could tell he was being genuine because he was making direct eye-contact but his body was more relaxed as he spoke. "I appreciate that." The next few seconds were filled with pure silence. "Well. My friends are still inside. I should go before they file a missing person's report," I say fixing my top and makeup in the rearview mirror. I leave before he could say anything else. 

Alia was by the bar, on her phone. "Whatcha drinking?" I casually ask her. She looks at me with a weird expression. "Sis, where have you been?" I avoid making eye contact with her. "Got a phone call," I lie. She doesn't care enough to spot my lie., "Wanna head out? I need to wake up early tomorrow." I nod and follow her lead. 

I think it was pretty ballsy of me to do what I did tonight. It was definitely out of my comfort zone but it was adventurous. I have no intentions of making Kyle my boyfriend, but I also wouldn't mind occasionally making out with him. I mean, he's gorgeous. What's wrong with just messing around, right? I'm not getting any younger. And I need this change of pace. As I get ready to unwind with some Netflix, a notification pops up on my laptop.

Kyle Williams: See you in your dreams Kristen😉

Oh no, what did I get myself into?