Always Been You

We're the Real Deal

"So what's going on between you two now?" Alia asks while pouring a cup of freshly brewed coffee. The house always smells like coffee in the morning because she always keeps the pot full. "I don't really know. He's just going through something right now and I'm giving him time to figure it out," I tell her. I take a big bite of my french toast, but don't feel like finishing the whole thing. It's been a week since I got back from Carolina. He texted me trying to initiate a conversation, but I told him to take some space. Ever since Jacob's party in April, something has just been off. I do think he needs to sort out his personal issues before solving anything between us.

On the other hand, I am in the midst of studying for finals and completing term projects. I'm happy at least my work life is stable (who would've thought). Graduation is on May 23rd and I actually had this whole thing planned for Drew. I was going to book a hotel in the city and set up decorations. And now I don't even know if that's going to happen. I miss him. Even though he's been acting like a complete DICK.

Nicole and I had plans to spend a few hours at the library so we could motivate each other to stay on top of studying. As a Bio student, she's very organized in all aspects of her life. We booked a study room for 3 hours and had no intention of leaving early. Nicole brought some snacks from the medical school pantry, and I made sure to get myself a large cup of coffee.

"I'm going to go crazy," Nicole sighs as she flips through her notes. "Easy girl," I remind her to take a short break to recharge her mind. I know she was up late last night working on an online lab. She excuses herself to the bathroom, and I continue to work on what I had in front of me. My goal for today is to finish making my outline for at least two chapters. I like to compile all of the relevant information I need from each chapter and put it together in one doc. Alli generously offered to work on half of them, so I knew we could get it done in two days.

"I just passed by your manz upstairs," Nicole says to me sitting back in her seat. "Did you talk to him?" I inquired. She nods. They exchanged a few words and of course Nicole told him she was with me in the basement. She said he was about to walk out of the library with a friend, but turned when he saw her. Regardless, I'm glad he wasn't awkward or anything with her.

A few minutes go by and I find myself still being a little distracted. Now I'm accidentally typing his name in my study guide. I let out a small groan. I put my head down on my laptop and took a timeout. I feel myself almost slipping into a nap when I feel something hit my head. It was a crumpled piece of paper. I look up at Nicole, and she takes out her left earbud. We let out a chuckle. "What the.."

This wasn't just a random piece of paper, it was a note. It said, "Look to your right." I lean against the back of my chair to peep my head out of the study room. I see Drew sitting at the study table 10 feet away. He waves at me. I shake my head. "What?" I mouth. I see him scribbling and wait for the next note. He effortlessly throws it right on top of my lap. "Come out for five minutes." I think for a moment. "GO," Nicole encourages me. If I don't, he's gonna think I'm holding onto something more. I grab my phone from the other side of the table and walk out of the room.

"How are you?" he asks as we both take a seat outside on a bench. "I'm okay, just studying for finals... how about you?" I ask him back. He tells me that he's had much more downtime to himself after coming back from Carolina. I knew what this conversation was leading up to and my stomach was doing flips. "Ahh, I don't really know how to address whatever has been going on between us, but I of course want to start off by saying that I'm sorry. I know I haven't been good with my words the past few weeks. I'm just trying to adjust to some big changes, and I haven't been good at doing that in the past." I hold onto his hand to show him support without having to say anything. I know it's not easy for a guy to be confrontational with feelings. But when you're in a relationship with someone, it's important to be as open as possible.