To Be So Lonely || l.s. ✓

Chapter 37

okay I felt bad leaving you on a cliffhanger so here you go x

(also the comments fuel me so keep commenting please)

Two minutes later Harry's stomach dropped, fear setting in. He jumped up, running into their bedroom, "Louis! No, don't!"

But he was too late. He stopped suddenly after bursting through the open door, his eyes wide.

Louis was staring at the bloody razor Harry had tossed onto the side.

"No no no no no no no-" Harry backed away slowly, shaking his head. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. He had managed to hide it for years and now after one stupid mistake someone knew.

"Haz?" Louis turned around, his voice cracking slightly.

"Louis, no, it's not, I'm not-"

"Hey, hey. Don't run off. It's alright."

"No, no, I can't-I can't do this-" Louis grasped Harry's hand, tugging him over to the bed. "I didn't want you to know, I didn't want anyone to know-"

"Harry, Haz, shhh, it's okay love, it's okay." Louis pulled Harry into his chest, Harry breathing unevenly against him.

"It's not okay-it's not, not okay-"

"Harry," Louis started softly, sitting Harry up again, "Harry." He repeated more sternly, Harry's glistening eyes snapping up to look at him. "It's alright."

"Pretend you don't know." Harry begged, "please, just pretend you don't know."

"I'm not gonna do that Harry, I can't just do that."

"You can. It will be best for everyone."

"But not you, and you're the priority at the minute."

"Louis, please-"

"No," Louis murmured, "absolutely not." He hugged Harry tightly as he cried, whispering "everything will be alright."

"Just, just ask whatever you wanna ask." Harry mumbled once he had calmed down a bit, "I know you want to."

"Are you sure?"

Harry nodded, crawling under the covers and lying on his side so he was facing away from Louis.

"Haz, do you just want to rest for now. Forget it all and then we'll talk tonight? And you can tell me everything you're comfortable with."

"Okay." Harry nodded again, "okay."

//

It was obvious to everyone that Harry wasn't really up to doing anything that day. They didn't know what had happened but Harry hardly talked and all day he looked incredibly stressed out. He would keep disappearing inside, only for one of them to find him curled up on a sofa or a chair. When they asked if he was alright he would just shrug.

Louis tried to give Harry a bit of space, not wanting to suffocate him, but making sure Harry knew he was there for him.

"Harry..." Louis peered around the corner to where Harry was sat on the sofa, "come to bed so we can talk."

"I'm trying to put it off."

"I don't think you can put it off much longer."

"You're right." Harry sighed, standing up and following after Louis. He annoyingly had already got ready for bed so he couldn't really put it off any longer. "Go on then."

"How long have you been doing it?"

"Started before the band broke up. Only like 2 months before though."