To Be So Lonely || l.s. ✓

Chapter 6

Harry huffed as he shrugged his coat off and tossed his keys on the table.

"What did you need to come back to do?" Louis asked, "I could help out."

"Oh, I didn't really have anything to do." Harry admitted quietly, "I just needed to get out of there."

"Why? Are you alright?" Louis frowned, sliding onto the stool as Harry slid a beer to him.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just stuff you know."

"Right." Louis nodded, "stuff. Oh by the way, your albums are both really good." He added.

"You listened to them?" Harry looked up in surprise, a small smile spreading across his face.

"Of course I did, they were amazing. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you." Harry looked down to the table, beaming shyly, "so was yours."

"Thanks love." Louis grinned, Harry's tummy fluttering slightly. He had almost forgotten how big of a crush he used to have on Louis but it suddenly all came flooding back.

It wasn't like he was going to like Louis again, of course not, but in that moment he realised how much he missed him and how much he'd wanted his approval.

Harry was incredibly happy knowing how many people loved his music, but until now, he didn't know the opinions of the people who had mattered the most to him. Even though they had stopped talking to him he was desperate not to let them down.

"Would you like anything to eat?" He offered.

"What've you got?"

"Um," Harry opened his cupboards, "not much it appears, sorry. I could cook us some chips or we could order something?"

"Don't worry, I'm not that hungry." Louis dismissed, Harry letting out a small sigh of relief.

"Okay. Um, how've you been?" He asked awkwardly.

"I've been good, yeah. I assume you know Eleanor and I broke up."

"Oh, yeah, I saw that. Didn't know if it was true or not though. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I broke up with her actually. She was really bitchy and racist and homophobic. Like she never explicitly said stuff but she implied it and her actions and yeah. I noticed how fake she was."

"She was never very nice to me." Harry admitted quietly.

"She wasn't?" Louis frowned.

"No." He shook his head. "Never wanted to say anything cause you were happy."

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. You really should've said something."

"Well it's too late now, it's alright. So you're okay?"

"Yeah I'm good. There was a month or two when I wasn't but it's better now."

"'m glad."

"Did you paint that?" Louis observed the painting on the wall opposite him.

"Erm, yeah." Harry murmured, obviously embarrassed, "don't look at that it's shit."

"No it's not." Louis let out a small laugh, "it's cute."

"It's so bad." Harry blushed, shaking his head. He had painted it when his therapist suggested painting when he felt overwhelmed, it had distracted him for a while but he soon switched back to reality.

"Stop saying that." Louis kicked him lightly.

Harry shook his head, "'m gonna go have a cigarette on the balcony."

"I'll come with." Louis stood up, following Harry, "so when did you actually start smoking?" He asked, pausing when Harry shot him a look as the cigarette dangled between his lips, hands folding across his chest. "Not an interrogation." Louis added quickly, "just wondering."

"I dunno, 3 years ago maybe." He lit the cigarette, inhaling before dropping his hand to his side.

"Why? Also not an interrogation, also still just wondering."

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because loads of other people do it when they're stressed so I tried it. It's not like anything else was helping."

"And does smoking help?"

"Not really. Feels like it does though."

Louis nodded in agreement.

Harry suddenly let out a groan, throwing his head back, "fuck's sake, I have a fucking interview tomorrow."

"Do you not like them?"

"Hate them. All they do is ask the same questions and most of the time they have no respect for my private life. There's stuff I don't want to talk about, especially not where millions of people can hear it."

"Some of them are alright though, you just say what you don't wanna talk about beforehand."

"But I don't know what I don't wanna talk about until they bring it up."

Louis hummed, "d'you remember that interview with the leopard print bird? Lady sorry." He corrected quickly as Harry cracked a small smile.

"She was awful. No respect for us whatsoever. And she thought we were interested in her."

"Bet you were." Louis nudged him playfully.

"I'm not interested in girls." He told him awkwardly. It wasn't as if it was a big secret, he had come out to the media as being unlabeled but since then he had realised he only liked boys.

"Thought you liked both?"

Harry shook his head, "I thought so too but I've realised I only like boys."

"Well leopard print lady had no chance." Louis joked.

Harry seemed to be thinking for a few seconds before he turned back to Louis, "if they mention the band in the interview what do I say?"

"Don't mention it coming back. I think they've got all big publicity stunts for announcing that."

Harry nodded, "okay."

"God it's 1 already," Louis looked down at his phone, "I gotta get going, promised I'd call the twins."

"Oh, alright." Harry nodded, slightly saddened by the fact he'd soon he alone again.

"I'll see you soon, day after next I expect. Probably at Liam's this time. Then Zayn's then yours. Or you can go first."

"I don't really want everyone here." Harry murmured, "I don't like being the host."

"Well, you don't have to if you really don't wanna. But it'd be nice."

"I'll have to think about it." Harry told him, knowing it was unlikely he actually would have them all around.

"Okay, bye Harry, I hope the interview goes well and your interviewer isn't like leopard print dress lady." Louis joked.

"I hope not too. See you soon." Harry stubbed out his cigarette, following Louis to the front door. Louis gave a small wave before Harry shut the door.