To Be So Lonely || l.s. ✓

Chapter 22

Louis knocked on the door quietly, opening it when he got no reply. Harry was curled up asleep on the bed, his head tucked into his arms.

Harry rolled over, a frown evident on his face and his hands a bright red with many scratch marks. Louis frowned, Harry must have been scratching them in his sleep. Louis made a mental note to talk to Harry about that later.

Harry's eyes fluttered open, widening as he saw Louis in his room. "Louis? What are you doing?"

"Oh, hi. Sorry, I literally just came in to see if you were awake."

"Oh, okay...um, I'm awake." He offered.

"Well I can see that." Louis laughed, "dinner's ready, you can come and get it in a minute."

"Louis, not sodding hungry." Harry groaned.

"Tough luck. Also, um, I noticed your hands."

"What about them?" Harry murmured, pulling his sleeves down.

"They're proper scratched."

"Oh. Probably in my sleep then."

"Do you do it often?"

"Dunno." He bought his sleeved hands up to his eyes, rubbing them lightly. "I'm gonna go to the toilet then I'll come out."

"Alright. I'll give you a small portion, yeah?"

"Can I do it myself?" Harry asked quietly.

"Of course."

"Thank you."

Harry shuffled into the bathroom, looking down at his hands with a sigh. Louis was right, they were extremely red. If Harry wasn't careful, people might find out his habits sooner than he wanted- aka never.

He splashed water over his face, rinsing his hands under cold water as well before heading back out into Louis's kitchen.

"Right, just grab a plate and help yourself." Louis told him from the table.

"Okay." Harry murmured, he took a small amount of each thing before sitting down.

"Oi, you can 'ave more than that."

"I'll have more later if I'm hungry." He said, pushing the food around with his fork before finally muttering a "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For being a prick. I'm sorry for shouting at you, you looked after me and cleaned up after me and I treated you like shit."

"I would've been the same. It's alright."

"It's not though. I'm a dick. I've treated you awfully. I'm really sorry." He looked down at the table, "sorry."

"Hey, stop apologising."

"Sorry." Harry prodded at the broccoli on his plate. "Um, yeah, sorry." He began to cut up a potato, placing a small amount in his mouth. He took a while to swallow it, chewing over and over again until he finally moved on. "I dunno if I can do this. I'm really not hungry."

"When did you last eat a proper meal?"

"This morning." Harry replied.

"Well that's an obvious lie, isn't it? I was with you this morning."

"I had food whilst you were in the shower."

"No you didn't. I showered before you got up so you haven't had breakfast or lunch."

"I meant the day before."

"Harry, why aren't you eating?"

"What makes you say I'm not eating? I'm eating right now, aren't I?" Harry shrugged, putting a couple of peas in his mouth. "See, eating."

"You're not though, are you? I mean, you're eating, but barely. You only eat small amounts when you do eat anything and it's not often at all."

"Oh don't start." Harry huffed. "You sound like fucking Gemma."

"And what's she saying?"

"The same as you. Anyway, I don't wanna start shouting again so please leave it."

"I'm not gonna leave it until I know you're eating properly."

"Fine." Harry slumped forwards, burying his head in his hands and taking a deep breath. He ate as much as he could before standing up and putting the rest in the bin and his plate in the dishwasher. "I'm going to bed."

"It's so early."

"Okay." Harry shrugged, "see you tomorrow."

"Night Harry." Louis sighed.

//

"What the fuck?" Harry jumped as he looked up from where he was rubbing his eyes as he walked into the kitchen.

"Harry?" Niall turned around, "so you're alright?"

"Yeah." He said quietly, "what are you doing here?"

"Making breakfast for Louis. And you it seems."

"Oh, right." He began to make himself a cup of tea.

"So, sex?" Niall raised an eyebrow with a sly grin.

"Sorry mate but you're not exactly my type. Plus, you're straight." Harry frowned, a slight amused look on his face.

"Well I've got brown hair and blue eyes so I'm pretty much spot on." Niall smirked, "anyway, no, I meant you two." He pointed his finger at Harry, then Louis who was now stood in the doorway.

"So confused." Louis muttered, shaking his head.

"Basically, yeah, I'm making you breakfast, Harry is all good, and you two didn't have sex apparently."

"Why do you always think we have sex?" Louis rolled his eyes.

Niall just shrugged, "Harry, is pancakes alright?"

"Um-" He was cut off by Louis's glare, "yeah, yeah. Pancakes are fine. Thanks."

"What do you want on them?"

"Um, berries and whipped cream? Maybe? I don't know."

"I'll do that then. Louis?"

"Nutella and banana please mate. Thank you." Louis smiled.

Niall shot him a thumbs up as Louis sat opposite Harry.

"How did you see then?" Louis asked.

"Dunno, alright. Yeah, alright." Harry nodded.

"How come you're 'ere then?" Niall set the plates down.

"I um, wasn't doing great. Louis made me come here."

"Wait, you're alright though, aren't you?"

"Yeah, of course I am." Harry told him, "just a bit of a shit couple of days."

Niall nodded, "oh, by the way, Simon wants a meeting. He said it was about some rumours or something."

"Ugh what now."

"Might be something to do with me." Harry mumbled, "I might have hinted about me being fully gay a couple of times in interviews and on social media and stuff."

"Oh god, he's not gonna be happy." Louis raised his eyebrows. "When's the meeting?"

"Today."

"You what? Fuck. I can't cope with this today." Harry groaned.

"It'll be alright mate. We all have your back." Niall smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you." Harry sighed.