To Be So Lonely || l.s. ✓

Chapter 38

"Morning." Harry greeted them shyly as he stepped outside.

"Morning Harry." Louis smiled.

"Do you wanna come in the pool?" Niall asked, tilting his head.

"I'm alright thanks." Harry shook his head, avoiding eye contact with Louis.

"Please?" Niall pouted.

"Maybe later." Harry shrugged, but both he and Louis knew it was an empty promise.

"Um, so we actually have to do songwriting today." Zayn huffed, "Simon called."

"Do we have to?" Harry groaned, "I don't have anything to write about."

"I'm sure you'll find something." Niall grinned, glancing at Louis not so subtly.

Harry ignored him, but thank you Niall for the ideas.

"Can I write on my own for now?" Harry asked, shifting on his feet.

"If that's what you want." Liam nodded.

"Thanks." Harry sighed gratefully. "I think I'll go over there." He pointed to the more secluded part of the garden.

He grabbed his notebook and pen from the bedroom, making his way over to the spot and sitting with his back against s tree.

He looked around, nobody could see him from where they were, so he rolled up his sleeves, unbuttoning his shirt more. As ideas began to flow into his head, he scribbled them down, trying to make sure it didn't quite so explicitly sound like it was about Louis. Because that would be awkward.

"Hello cherub." Louis walked through the gap in the hedge, making Harry jump. He quickly moved to unroll his sleeves, Louis's eyes lingering a little too long.

"Hi Lou. You scared me." Harry smiled softly. "Thank god it was you and not one of them."

Lou. Lou. That was new, well old new. New old. Same thing.

"Yeah." Louis nodded, sitting next to Harry and leaning against him. "Can I see what you've written?"

"Not yet." Harry shook his head, shutting the book. "When it's done."

"Pleaseeee." Louis begged, putting on a puppy dog face.

"Nope." Harry shook his head again. "Need to make some adjustments."

"Fine." Louis huffed, slumping back. "Woah, this is a big tree." He turned his head looking up.

"And you didn't notice it was here?"

"Nope." Louis shrugged, continuing to stare at it in amazement.

"Nice and shady under here."

"You can roll your sleeves up if you want. I won't look if that's what you're worried about."

"I dunno." Harry mumbled, "I mean, if I have my sleeves rolled up you're gonna end up seeing. But, like, you're gonna end up seeing at some point but I dunno."

"Whatever you're comfortable with angel." Louis rested his head on Harry's shoulder.

And he's pretty sure the butterfly on his stomach somehow got inside him. Louis was on a roll with the pet names today and Harry loved it. Pet names just made him feel appreciated and loved.

Harry smiled at him, "okay, um, I'm gonna roll them up but don't like, don't stare or anything. It's okay if you look but don't like, stare or say anything."

"I won't."

"But also, they're really fuckin' ugly so um, yeah, it's not nice to look at."

"Hey," Louis started, taking Harry's hand in his own, "you don't have to roll your sleeves up if you don't feel comfortable, but if you want to I won't be a twat about it, alright?"

"I wanna, just it's a big deal for me that you even know."

"I know. I know."

Harry slowly rolled up his sleeves, biting his lip as he did so.

"So, what have you written?" Louis tried again, looking in Harry's eye.

"I hate everything, I hate everything, yeahhh." Harry sang, Louis raising his eyebrows.

"That'll be a hit." Louis spoke.

"I know." Harry nodded, "that's the plan."

"Now tell me what you actually wrote."

"Nope."

"Ugh." Louis sighed. "Anyway, the other 3 are going out for lunch. I didn't know if you wanted to go."

"Oh." Harry frowned. "I don't think so. I don't really think going somewhere to eat will help yet."

"I'll order us something here then."

"Oh! Louis, no, I'm not saying you can't go. You can go if you want."

"I'll stay with you." Louis shrugged.

"But I'm boring. And wouldn't you prefer to go out?"

"You are not boring. And no. I'll stay with you."

"But-"

"Unless you don't want me to?" Louis tilted his head.

"No, I do." Harry said quickly.

"Okay, I'll go and let them know."

Louis stood up, skipping back along the path and to the firepit where they other boys were sat. "Hi, we're not coming with you. Sorry."

"Oh, why?" Liam asked.

"Not hungry. We should go out for like a little nibbly meal tonight or tomorrow evening."

"Yeah, definitely. Okay, well, bye Lou!" Niall grabbed a bucket, filling it with pool water before dumping it over Louis's head and running into the house.

"You fucker!" Louis yelled, Zayn and Liam laughing at him.

"Now you can take your shirt off for Harry." Niall whisper-yelled from the door, Louis flipping him off.

"Bye Lou." Zayn chuckled.

Louis stormed back to Harry, Harry looking up with a cackle, "you look like a soggy puppy."

"Harrumph."

"Sorry, what?" Harry furrowed his brow, a small smile still on his face.

"I'm harrumphing." Louis removed his shirt, throwing it down.

"What happened?" Harry giggled.

"Niall dumped water over me." Louis explained, sitting down next to Harry again.

"Louis! You're getting me wet!" Harry squealed.

"Oh, I am, am I?" Louis smirked.

"Stop it." Harry hit him lightly.

"Ouch! That hurt." Louis pouted, grabbing Harry's hand to stop him.

"No it didn't. Go ahead."

"What?"

"I know you want to see. My arms I mean."

"Oh."

"It's fine." Harry look down at his lap, stretching his arm out.

"Harry, darling." Louis frowned, pressing his lips together. Harry's arm was littered with cuts and scars, hardly any skin undamaged.

Without saying anything Harry's face crumpled and he turned to Louis, readjusting so he was in his knees and flinging his arms around Louis, his face buried in Louis's bare shoulder.

"You're the one getting me wet now." Louis murmured, tugging Harry closer and holding him tight as he felt Harry's tears spill onto his skin.

"Sorry."

"'s okay." Louis rocked him back and forth quietly.

"I feel pathetic."

"You're not pathetic."

Harry shrugged slightly. "I hate people seeing me like this." He mumbled.

"It's alright love. It's alright."

"It will be."