To Be So Lonely || l.s. ✓

Chapter 4

Louis: 'you left.'

Harold: 'thanks for noticing.' Harry huffed, falling back into the sofa. He'd literally been gone over half an hour and they only just realised. That put things into perspective as to how invisible he truly was.

Louis: 'why did you go'

Harold: 'i have a show. plus, it's not like i was needed anymore'

Louis: 'we wanted you there, it wasn't just to talk about the band'

Harry: 'its fine, it was clear i wasn't actually wanted there. & pls stop lying to me, i can't be arsed.'

He ignored his phone the next time it buzzed, just sighing deeply as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Harry, are you ready to get changed?" Jeff asked as he poked his head around the door.

"Yeah. Yeah, 'm ready." He stood up, leaving his phone on the sofa as he took his suit, shutting the door behind Jeff and beginning to get changed.

//

As he sat in bed he began to scroll through Twitter, sighing at the comments on his performance today. Most of them were picking up on the fact that he seemed slightly out of it the whole show. He had tried his best to act normally and interact as much as he could, but he was incredibly distracted. All he could think about was the boys, he didn't know what to do. He hated acting like this around them, but they were essentially strangers now.

Harry trudged into his kitchen, pouring himself a glass of red wine as he sat cross-legged on the sofa in his pyjamas, staring into space.

Absentmindedly he took a sip of the wine, jumping and spilling a little as the doorbell rang. He frowned, wondering who it could be at half 9 at night, before standing up and wondering to the door.

"Harry, is it okay if I come in?" Louis stood shivering in his doorway, wayer dripping down his face from his hair, "sorry, it's just it's absolutely pissing it down and I remembered you lived nearby so I thought I could stay here until it stopped raining so heavily, if that's okay of course?"

"Um, yeah, yeah, whatever." Harry pushed his door open further with a frown, allowing Louis to walk inside. "What are you doing out?"

"I was out on a walk just around the area." Louis explained, "I like to go on walks to clear my mind, you know."

"Mhm." Harry nodded.

"How was your show?"

Harry laughed dryly, sitting back on the sofa, "shit."

"Why? What happened?"

"Nothing, don't worry. Do you want a glass of wine?" Harry suddenly offered, feeling like it was the polite thing to do.

"Oh, no thanks, I'm alright." Louis sat next to Harry, taking the opportunity to look around at his apartment. "I see you've redecorated."

"Well it has been 5 years." Harry shrugged.

"Yeah." Louis said as they dropped into awkward silence.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink? I don't think I have much food in though."

"I'll have a glass of water please actually." Louis asked, Harry nodding and standing up. He placed his glass on the side, refilling it with wine and grabbing a glass for Louis. As he moved the glass towards the sink it slipped from his grip, dropping to the floor, shattering immediately.

Harry almost burst into tears right then and there. But as soon as he realised Louis was still there he swallowed back his tears, "fuck's sake." He groaned.

"Woah, you alright?" Louis stood up quickly, walking over to him.

"Yeah, 'm fine." Harry shrugged him off, shuffling to grab the dustpan and brush as he began to sweep up the glass. He squeezed his eyes shut as frustration bubbled up inside of him at the glass not going into the pan. After a few times trying to brush it in he gave up, grabbing it with his hands aggressively and chucking it in.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Louis rushed out as he spotted the blood drip from Harry's hands, "you've made yourself bleed."

"It's fine, it's whatever. Just, I don't know, just go and sit on the sofa of something." He grumbled.

"No, come on, let's go and clean the blood up."

"Believe it or not Louis, I'm a grown man and I know how to clean up after I've cut myself. It's not complicated."

"It's not complicated." Louis repeated, nodding. "Well I'll clean the rest of this up. Go and sort your hand out."

Louis swept the rest of the glass up, putting it in the glass bin. "Harry! Where's your glasses? I'll get meself the water if that's alright?"

"Dunno, they're in there somewhere, just have a look." He replied.

Louis opened the fridge -which was one of those annoying ones which look exactly like a cupboard- his eyes widening at the sheer amount of alcohol and the small amount of food.

"That's the fridge." Harry stated as he walked back into the room, a bandage around his hand.

"No shit Sherlock." Louis rolled his eyes, "are you a fucking alcoholic or something? And where's all your food?"

"No, no I just, you know. I like drinking it, takes the edge off things. I don't drink it all in one go, just in moderation. And I'm just out, haven't been to the shops in a while."

"Well you bloody need to."

Harry shrugged, his voice growing smaller as he looked down to the floor, "I know. I will, just don't know when."

Louis peered out the window, glad to see it had finally stopped raining and he could get home. "Well I think I'm gonna go now, it's stopped raining. Thanks for letting me stop by. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, yeah." He nodded, shutting the door after Louis before lowering himself back onto the sofa. He knew he wouldn't sleep that night, which wasn't uncommon, so he didn't even bother trying.