evans²| r.lupin

Chapter Thrity-Nine

You don't have to do this if you don't want to." Remus whispered while zipping up Cassiane's dress. She turned around and smiled, gazing at his warm brown eyes.

"It's what Philip would have wanted me to do. Besides, it is a ceremony to celebrate their lives and I would never miss that."

He nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You know that we're going to be okay right?"

"Yeah, I know."

They headed to Marlene's lake house, where their friends were already waiting for them. Remus was taken aback by the size of the house and the beauty of the landscape. "We should visit this place more often." He teased and grinned as they walked by the lake.

"Well, we could come again during the summer... Marlene loves having us around."

The couple stood at the porch and rung the bell. Marlene greeted them, with a small smile on her face. She looked a little tired from the difficult days they had went through. "Hey lovebirds. You're late again."

"Marlene, you're supposed to ask the key word!" Cassiane reminded her.

The blonde rolled her eyes but realized that her friend was right. "Alright, tell me the key word."

"Elle."

It was a nickname for Michelle that no one really used, because the little girl preferred her whole name. However, it could still be used as a password.

"Now, can you please come in so we don't miss anything else?"

Inside the living room, all of their friends were gathered around Michelle and Harry who were playing together.

"Happy birthday Bambi." Cassiane wished to Harry, despite knowing that he was too young to understand. Then, she wished to his parents and took her seat at the living room, wishing she could turn back time to the day Harry had been born. They used to be happier and almost everyone she loved was still there.

"Where is he?" Michelle asked, turning to Cassiane. At first the woman send her a confused look, wondering who the girl was talking about.

"Your dad went outside to help Peter find the house." Marlene informed her, the corners of her lips twitching. "He'll be back soon, don't worry."

"No, not him." She explained and looked at her mother for help. "Someone's missing."

Remus knitted his brows and kneeled next to the girl. "Do you mean Philip? Cassie's brother?"

"Yes!" She giggled. "He brings gifts."

Cassiane looked away and sighed. "He's not coming today, Michelle. But I brought a gift for you and for our Harry. Do you want me to show you?"

She had bought bew clothes for the children and gave them to Sharon and Lily respectively.

"Clothes are boring." Michelle declared and climbed into Sirius' lap who had just returned inside the Lake house with Peter.

The brunette laughed, amused by the girl's annoyance and her indifference towards her present. "Next time we can find your gift together, Michelle, to make sure you like it."

Sharon shook her head and pulled the girl away from Sirius. "Say thank you to Cassiane."

Michelle looked down and apologized quietly. "It is a pretty dress. Thank you Cassie."

For the rest of the night, the adults discussed about the recent developments and of course, about their losses. It almost felt like Gideon and Fabian were in the kitchen, chatting with Marlene's brothers and Philip was on his way, late as usual. However, they all understood that none of it was true. The Prewetts and Philip would never return.

"Do you remember that time he dragged me by the ear? Blimey, I was scared for my life." Sirius recalled, speaking about Gideon. Sharon chuckled and nodded, knowing which incident he was referring to.

"We were back at the safe house, right?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, it was one of the last days of training and he was so mad at us. Looking back, I wish we had listened to him more." Sharon commented. "He taught us so many things... We wouldn't be here without them."

Remus smiled, taking a sip of firewhiskey. "Ah, I miss them already. I'll never forget how supportive Philip was of me, even after he found out I was a werewolf."

"I wish we could have done something for them." Lily joined in. "They didn't deserve any of this."

Remus and Cassiane tiredly apparated back to their house, once the others left too. She sighed, glancing at a picture of Philip and her parents they had hung at the wall. "The only thing that is comforting me right now are the children."

"The children?"

"Harry and Michelle. They are so adorable, I'm starting to feel jealous of our friends-"

She was cut off by Remus. "You want kids?" He wasn't even looking at her, his eyes fixed on the floor.

Cassiane furrowed her brows, surprised by his reaction. "Well not right away, obviously, but some day, I suppose, yes. We don't even need to talk about it-"

"I can't have children Cas." He mumbled. "You know that right?"

"Why can't you... This doesn't make any sense."

"Do you have any idea what they could face? What if my condition passes down to the child? What happens then, are you going to lock us all in a room and pray we don't tear each other apart?"

"Remus, this is a completely hypothetical scenario and besides, even if that child is a werewolf we can make it work out, as long as you remain calm and sensible, for Merlin's shake. You're worried about something that hasn't even happened yet!"

He sighed, burying his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, I... eh, I have to go."

"Wha- Why?"

"I have to go on a mission, undercover. Dumledore needs me to join the werewolves that live underground and blend in."

Cassiane send him a puzzled look. "So you're going to leave... one week after my brother died?"

"I have to-"

"Bullshit. You're leaving because you're scared. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about your lycanthropy? I love you, all of you!" She shouted, wishing that it would be enough to convince him to stay.

"Cas, listen to me... I love you, but I can't feel like a burden to you anymore, it drives me crazy. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and you deserve more, so much more."

"Right... I forgot something at Marlene's, I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting." She growled, implying that she would spent the night at the Lake house.

"I'm actually leaving at the morning-" He whispered before meeting Cassiane's gaze.

"The most frustrating thing is that you waited to tell me the very last moment and that you made a whole prologue about how you could never be a father... If you're trying to break up with me, you should have the courage to say it. Goodbye Remus."

Remus didn't manage to utter a word as his girlfriend disapparated.