A PROMISE TO REMEMBER (BOOK TWO) °Chaesoo°

i just want to let it out because its killing me!!!

a/n: I just want to share this experience of mine, it was about my TOTGA..

I met her way back 2016, when I was still in my Junior year in high school. The first time I walked inside of that room, she was the first person who took my attention. She was so beautiful really that I kept on staring at her all through out of our class. I still remember the first time I approached her, it was so embarrassing really, I couldn't even hold her hand that time. My god, how I was whipped for that girl.

Then months passed, I was already closed to her, our status leveled up in being friends. I was so happy back then. I coukd freely hold her hand, lean my head on her shoulder, eating lunch together, until I found myself already falling for her.

Then month of August came, our friends helped me to planned something for her, then luck was at my side, our music teacher wants me to represent our class in this singing competition for celebrating BUWAN NG WIKA, then the confession happened there. Our planned goes like this, I will just sing my heart out, then the boys in our circle of friends will give me flowers, so it won't get suspicious. that flowers were for her. As I held those flowers in my hand, I felt so extremely nervous then there she was looking at me, confused why our friends did that. It really took all of my courage then walked slowly going to her, as I sang "TADHANA by UP DHARMA DOWN" in front of the whole school I confessed my love for her, and take note that was the first time I did that to a girl. I kneeled in front of her offering those flowers. My eyes were beamed in real happiness as I saw her slowly accepting it. Yes, she accepted my confession.

Then, month of August drifted so fast, we were still friends, but I could feel the changes between us, she was been so sweet and flirting back to me. we were okay, not leveling the relationship we have, but I'm willing to wait for her. Then the day came when I'm planning to asked her to be my girlfriend, I thought that day will be great but ended up of me crying my heart out, her telling me that she already has a boyfriend. she confessed everything to me, like god I was such a fool. Their relationship was on and off, because of the distance. I was hurt, really hurt. After that day, I decided to cut my hair short and bleach it.(I looked really pathetic here) moving on to nothing I guess. As I look back on those years, I really pity myself. hahahaha, but then as I expected she was shocked why I did that to my hair. Like what the fuck do you care. Starting that day I decided not to sit beside her, I was slowly drifting away and sure our friends noticed then they let us talked, there I said everything that I want her to know. Just like, why she was giving me wrong signals?? that in the first place she knows I have feelings for her. There she confessed again she was slowly having the same thing towards me, but I didn't easily believe in her words, knowing that she already lied to me. Another month passed of us not speaking towards each other. I let my friends to joined her side, so purposely I was the one who left the circle of our friends. Then a new set of friends came. I'm slowly diverting my attention to them not minding that she was just there meters away from me, sometimes I'm still glancing to her side. Our friends sometimes caught me.

Because of that singing competition, I became popular not that popular but enough to gained attentions, some of college students recognized me, some of them asking my name (wow, it feels so weird hahaha) but yeah going back. College students eyeing me, but I don't mind them, she was still the one who can make my hearts go wild.

I have this girl friend that extremely clinging on to me, I just let her because we were friends though, but my old friends, which were her friends that time getting the wrong idea, then they confronted me that not to make her jealous, because according to them, she was hurting these past days.. then it pushed my temper and burst in anger, as I said those hurtful words to her, which I regretted, I extremely regretted that day until now.

another weeks passed, our psychology teacher felt the tension in our room, so she decided to make an open forum, there I told her everything about the misunderstandings, then she hugged me, yes she hugged me, I know that time I can feel her love for me, I can really feel it. After that forum, we were back in being friends. Still doesn't have a level..

Then the month of October came, which is my birth month. I was so happy because of how the two of us treating each other, I felt contented. I was the one who said I love you first, they were really indeed true saying that too much happiness was dangerous, and the painful day came, she just left with out us knowing, even her friends. She just disappeared with out a single word. I'm literally freaking out of where she could be. We tried to reach her through social medias, but she blocked all of us, I'm really a messed that time. We tried to find her address but no one was there anymore even her parents. Do you want to know how it affected me?? well I just stop going to school because of that, I was so blind of my love for her, that I end up crashing my whole life. There I learned how to smoke, how to drink. Everyday I'm drunk, really drunk. I was so lost without her. I can still feel the pain she'd caused to me until now really. it was almost 5 years but still it hurts.

Then when my family knew that I was not attending school, my Mom sent me to my sister in manila, so that my sister can monitor me. I studied in manila, and it helps me to forget her.

Those five years passed, to be honest I'm still hopping I can find her, I always search her name in every social medias accounts that I have but I couldn't find her.

And just last year after I graduated, I came back here in my birth place.

Then I saw her again. Yeah fuck, I saw her again guys!!!! I saw her last week, it was just a peaceful day, I was entering the public market, then I saw her at the corner, she was standing there busy on her phone. My eyes literally widened as I recognized it indeed her, then my heart beats fast again, I still feel it, the longing. God, I can literally relate myself to Jisoo's character here in this story.

I missed her really, she was more 100 times beautiful now. She slightly lost weight then her skin glow even more. I didn't really saw her full face, just her side profile. But I really know it was her. I still memorized every part of her face.

I don't know what to do that time so I walked going to the different way. Not giving her a glance and that day also I was wearing a bucket hat and also the mask was a big help for me to hide my face.

so guys, I just want to share it, I'm really keeping this for almost a week, then it's a relief knowing that I let it out here..

so thanks for reading 😅. Sorry for the sudden outburst, it feels like I'm going to die if I didn't let it out.

have a nice day again🖤