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Needless to say when Calum walked out of the door, she knew he had walked out of her life completely.

At first she stood in silence, faint tears falling down her cheeks as her chest inhaled and exhaled rapidly after the argument that had occurred only moments ago.

But then something just seemed to click inside of her and she had hit rock bottom all over again.

She grew angry, sad, confused and lonely all at once at her emotions spiralled out of control. She threw things across the room, smashed the bedside lamp against the wall, tore her clothes apart, pulled down the curtains, did anything and everything she could for some sort of release, though she knew she would get none.

Storming into the bathroom she went straight to the mirror and retrieved the small package of drugs which stayed successfully hidden behind it. She observed it, tears blocking her vision as she walked back out into the bedroom and searched for the left over money, counting it out into her hands before heading towards the service phone and dialling the front desk, ordering a large bottle of vodka to be delivered to the room immediately, regardless of the privacy Calum had ordered for the room.

She walked up and down impatiently around the room, mumbling words to herself, tugging at her hair, shaking her head repeatedly and still crying all at the same time as she waited for room service to arrive.

The knock on the door sent her rushing and she opened it enough to snatch the bottle from the Hotel Staff member's hand before throwing a fifty pound note at him and slamming the door shut in his face just as he was about to ask if everything was okay.

She unscrewed the lid and began to drown herself in it as fast as she could, holding the package of drugs tightly within her grip, waiting for the right time to use it seeing as she no longer cared to purchase anymore.

Within the first few minutes most of it had been consumed and her body had already began to malfunction.

She stumbled into the bathroom a crying mess, losing her balance and falling onto the floor, her knee slamming the concrete tile hard as a yelp escaped her lips and faint blood began oozing from the now fresh wound.

She lay there in tears, feeling sorry for herself as she continued to drink until the whole bottle was gone in a mere matter of minutes. She was a complete sobbing mess, curling up on the floor as her cries echoed through the room transforming into hiccuped gasps of air.

She ruined everything.....she knew that now.

And of course she believed deep down that she would never be able to have what she had with Calum again, nor would she ever be able to have anybody come close to him in her life.

Again she only had herself to blame and she knew that all too well.

She had once chance and she ruined it.

There was only one way out for her now.....or at least that's what she believed as she lay there a drunken mess with no more hope of ever being able to get back on her feet.

There was nothing for her to believe in anymore.

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It was only a matter of time...

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CAN I JUST SAY THANK U GUYS SO MUCH FOR UR COMMENTS AND SUPPORT I REALLY THOUGHT NOBODY CARED AND THE RESPONSE MADE ME SO HAPPY THANK U GUYS ILY

ONLY A FEW MORE CHAPTERS LEFT....MAX 5 BUT I DOUBT IT

*Btw i have a special 5sos twisted book for valentines day its runs for a week and ends on the 14th* check it out if ya wanna :)

-S

Desperate ~ Calum Hood (au)Where stories live. Discover now