The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

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I'M DEEPLY SORRY ABOUT THAT last recording, crying while making what might be historical evidence of my life (not that I think after hundreds of years people would still remember and care about me) is embarrassing and quite missing some of the strength I would need to finish this. I am sorry about that, from now, I'll try and not do that again.

Back to where I left off.

There was more outrage. Have you heard of that method of poison against poison to heal? Fire against fire to stop the fire itself? I think that was what it was. People did start to calm down after maybe two months, Klarise continuing onto her singing like none of it happened, shoulders high and head high. But even so, they will forever remember that she lied. And now I finally know what Klarise had meant when she said either way people won't relent if she said yes or no. Yes, I did have plastic surgery. No, I did not have plastic surgery. They'll always find a way to insult her. But still, I wonder, why? There must have been other ways. This one thing hurted her career. She lost fans. Although her attention grew. Still though, Klarise, I wonder why you make the choices you make.

The rest of the year went out smoothly, well, not exactly what you might call smooth, there were a bunch of bumpy roads and conflicts on the internet. But like me and Klarise promised, we didn't fight again. But also like she and I had hoped for, going on picnics and being normal, that did not happen. Picnics were a risk, going out together was a risk.

Now thinking back, we had so many chances. So many chances to just tell the truth. But it just kept on being dragged on. If I have to say, maybe nothing went on the way we wanted it to...

The family dinners still happened though. Not every week, but at least once every two or three weeks. And like Klarise predicted, Cameron always tried to ditch and run away from them. But in the end, he was the one feeling the most satisfied. Surprising enough too, Jackson was talkative when he wanted to be. If the topic he was interested in came up, oh, the whole dinner will just be him talking nonstop and you'll wish to leave the table but also you want to stay to witness this miracle of a moment.

Klarise's career was getting back on track, despite the hate she got, there were still decent human beings that adored her. That seems to be enough to her, but I think—and she has really gotten better at hiding it—there are times she wishes things were different, for things to be better. She deserves better. And I wish I could be the one to give that to her, but I couldn't. Lesson learned from our fight, I decided not to interfere with her outside life. As much as I sometimes really wanted us to stop living like we're hiding under rocks everyday, it felt impossible. Like a faraway dream I might never reach.

In comparison, my own career was thriving. It's hard to remember there was a time I had a problem with fame, a time where I was so poor I was hungry most of the time, a time where all I wanted was money and millions of adoration. Now I have all of that. When I was younger, I used to always imagine what it'll be like when I finally have everything, when I've finally reached the top. Now I wonder if there even is a top. What if the path I'm going on goes on for infinite? Then what have I been reaching for exactly? It seemed so simple back then, work hard, go your ways, become famous, get people to like you, have money, live however you want because you're at the top and no one can boss over you. Now...I don't know. Had I wanted a family back then? I don't remember. I think I didn't want one, but I needed one. And now...I have everything I've ever wanted plus something in additional life has given me: love and family. So why does it not feel right? Why is it so much more complicated and harder now?

Before going to bed, I ask myself a thousand questions like those. I want to know what exactly was the secret to life, why couldn't I just feel enough? Because isn't this enough? Why doesn't it feel complete? Why do I feel so...frustrated?