The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

68

I WANTED TO TEAR THE guy's skin off, piece by piece. I wanted to hurl his ass out of jail and kill him, my fingers digging into his neck, choking him until all his breath goes to where it belonged: hell. I still want to now, despite all the years that has passed and he rotted in his jail cell anyways. Though Klarise never got the justice she deserved and I wish back then I had enough power to give it to her instead of staying quiet. Like I always did with my entire life.

Okay, I'm a little ahead now. I'll go back to where she told me what had happened. Still, I hate going over this memory. I was so helpless.

"To tell you this first, and I hope you already knew and were not stubborn enough to not realize." Klarise looked at me, as I was huddled in the same blanket with her, eyes never leaving her face. I nodded for her to continue. "I did not love Henry Zhou. I never did. And nor had I ever loved anyone as much as I did with you."

I looked away for a moment, face shameful. "Were you...with anybody else when you were with him then?" I wanted her answer to both be yes and no. No because of course it hurted to have the person you love most in the world be with other people. Yes because I felt guilty that I had assumed she had several flings so I had a fair share amount of my own and if she had hers the guilt wouldn't be as bad.

She shook her head indicating no, and that awful feeling gnarled at me.

"I did," I said without looking at her, but still saw her faint smile disappear. "I never loved any of them though. I thought about you whenever I was with them. I missed you each second. I'm sorry."

She gently pushed a strand of my hair back from my face, planting a weak but also warm kiss on my head. Instead of bringing the topic further, she continued her story with what had happened. I was glad, but still ashamed.

"My parents had been friends with Henry for a while. And..." I feel her hand reaching for mine, and quickly I let her hold it. She seemed desperately in need of it. "I did not know about the drugs. I never knew. But now, after the LAPD explained to me about it, Henry and our marriage was...was just a better deal for more income of drugs. So it didn't matter whether or not you came that day or not, whether my mother saw you or not, because I...I was just a piece in their work."

I squeezed her hand, shutting my mouth because if I let it open I knew only the horrible, mean stuff would come out and I don't think she needed that. But what she said didn't change much, about what I had done so long ago not making any effect. It did. In my heart it always will. It always will be partly, no, mostly, my fault. And I will never forgive myself.

"After our wedding, we moved in together into his place. That time I did not know about the secrets behind the arrangements, and so I guess I was...pretty brave? I don't know. But I tried to be tough. Henry Zhou was nice on the outside, perfect on papers. He used to come over for dinner when I was younger. I didn't not like him. Yet. To me he was just an uncle, and marrying him I did not expect to continue more false fakery of love. Because, you know, it was an arranged marriage. So I wanted to steer away."

She drew in a shaky breath, I felt her hand squeezing mine, harder each time she spoke.

"But once the doors were closed, once the shades were drawn, once the world was closed away; he was not who I thought he was." I could see the little bits of sparkling tears in the corner of her rim-red eyes, she was trying so hard to hold them in. "He was a monster."

She started to shake, the slightest tremble turning serious. I gathered my two palms and cupped her cheeks with them, letting my forehead rest with hers. Her tears rolled down, the warm liquid touching my fingers. I felt her shaky breath, and I pecked a nibble of a kiss on the tip of her nose. "I'm here, I'm here. He's not here anymore, I am. And I won't let him hurt you ever again. I won't let anyone hurt you."