The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

89

MASON HAD CHANGED ALL OF his contacts, so none of us could contact him. He had left us all a note that read this:

I've somehow lost meaning of myself and life during these past years. I want to find back that meaning again, and to do that I need to be alone. I don't know when this journey I'm about to go on will end, but I know I will be back.

Maeve, please take care of yourself while I'm not there. Eat healthier when you can, just because you can't gain weight doesn't mean you won't get unhealthy. Don't be too hard on yourself too, you don't have to blame everything on yourself. You're my best friend no matter what, remember that, and just because I'm not there does not mean I don't have your back. I'll always be there, and I really hope you understand why I'm doing this.

Klarise, I wish we have got to know each other better. I'm sorry I haven't always been the best person towards you. But you love Maeve, and she loves you, and I am in no one's spot to stand in the way. Please take care of her for me, alright?

I love you so much, Cameron. But I need to go on this journey. I feel like I've lost you recently, or maybe for a while now. I kept lying to myself about it, it was like I just couldn't seem to admit to myself that things have been different for a long time. I want to be a better person, for you, and also for myself. So I think we should take a break. While I am gone, you should also use this time to find yourself. You're always acting, doing something your parents want of you. But what do you really want? I'm just realizing how big the world is, and it's a pity we seem to be so entrapped in only a small part of it. I'm going to explore it, explore the meaning of my own existence and the world. By the time I come back, I may be a different person. But always know that I will love you no matter what. Now, it's time for me to go, and also time for you to find more of you.

~ Wish you all the best, Mason

I didn't understand why he left. Actually, I could barely begin to comprehend the fact that he had simply left us.

We were all in unstable states. And I don't think our reactions were what Mason wanted of us. Years now...I finally do understand all of his decisions, and I just wish we had been better. Maybe if we had been better, or if I had just understood or tried to, things might've played out differently for us. We should've been better for him.

Klarise wasn't too affected by Mason's departure. She continued her life like a small bug has been rid of. She never said it aloud, but I can almost hear it: "Finally, it was bound to happen." And that fact made me suddenly get mad at her at times and we'd have arguments where we're just yelling at each other; the both of us miserable and yet always apologizing for what we knew we'd repeat.

Mason had been very clear on the part where he needed to be left alone, no contact with us at all. Except I didn't listen. I tried all his old contacts first to really be sure they didn't belong to him anymore. When none of them worked and I was at my last resources, I asked Juno about it. And in fact, he knew about this too. But he was sincere and honest, and a good friend. He didn't give me Mason's new contact or any information of where he might have headed. No matter how hard I begged. And cried. He just said, every time; "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. If this is what Mason wants, I need to honor it." And I found myself hearing his voice and that exact phrase each time I tried to dial his old number just to imagine his voice talking through it.

Despite that, Cameron was the one who took it the hardest. He...completely broke down.

I think he took this as a sign that Mason had broken up with him, that he wasn't ever coming back. That he had lost him.

He drank a little here and there before all of this happened, but then all of a sudden it wasn't the same anymore. He turned wild. He turned to a different person I could barely recognize.

He hosted parties around the city. These parties suddenly became the well-known "Cameron Li Party", where people did drugs and drank, all night long, sometimes even to the morning. But morning or not, it was more like this party was a 24/7 place, happening everyday. Anyone was allowed to come in and out, no tickets, nothing in exchange. I can't begin to imagine the amount of money he spent and wasted during the span on these years this continued to happen, but...not that any of that matters now.

I only went to one of these parties once, and that was to get him come to the movie audition he had ditched. I remember calling and pulling a bunch of strings with the casting producers to give him a second chance, saying Cameron had thought the audition was another date. They grudgingly gave it to me, and I had thought: Okay, there's still time to fix all of this. I'm sure Cameron is going to get himself back together.

Although when I reached the club one of his parties were at, the loud music thrilling everyone on the dance floor made me sick to the stomach, everyone moving and bumping into me and seeming to completely forget who they are. I found Cameron, snorting a roll of something, and around him were girls dressed in barely strips, hands all over his shirtless body. I remember standing there, gawking, just watching and waiting for him to look up and notice me. I was in a cardigan and pair of jeans, and I obviously stood out of the crowd. People were casting glances toward my direction, while I just watched my best friend giggling while he continued to snort the drugs in front of him, glancing from side to side at the girls half his age. He touched them, they laughed, he laughed. Who was this? Who is this person in front of me?

And then he finally looked up. He was high, but he recognized me at once. His wide smile turned slowly to a look of fear.

He started to explain for himself, and that was when I realized Klarise might've been right. He was beyond saving. Things have changed, and I couldn't keep trying to hold on to the past that was never coming back.

I guess you can say I gave up on Cameron. And like him, I believed Mason was never returning.