The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

97

OUR PRIVATE DOCTOR WAS ON her way to get to my place.

And even though I loathed Cameron and he didn't want this baby to exist, I had called him out of panic when Klarise's water broke.

There were a lot of screams and yells.

Cameron was here within ten minutes, and the two of us sat by Klarise as we held one of her hands on each side.

On the speaker was our doctor, who was giving both us and Klarise instructions on what to do.

We had planned from the start to give birth at home, for if we did go to a hospital there would be too much press talk and Klarise, though she didn't care about what people said now, felt weary about her child being in an environment with the press on her first few days on earth. So we knew this was going to happen.

Except knowing and being in this situation were two very different things. And the baby came as a surprise, because it was almost a whole month earlier than expected.

I was trying hard to do as Dr. Fernandez was telling us, but it was mostly Cameron following the orders and urging Klarise to keep pushing and telling her how awesome she was doing and that once this baby was out it'll all be worth it. If I wasn't in so much panic, I would have wondered how Cameron was able to push aside his feelings and do this and help.

"Can you see the head yet?"

"No," Cameron answered Dr. Fernandez on the speaker while also reassuring Klarise in a low and warming voice on how well she was pushing.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking. And I was squeezing desperately onto Klarise's hand for support instead of her to me. She looked like she was in so much pain. She looked like she was half-dying.

"W-We should've not did home birth. We should've did it at the hospital." I started to blabber, tears streaming down my cheeks as I tried to swat the sweat off of Klarise's face with a towel. "I knew the risks and Dr. Fernandez had warned us about the danger of it for mothers your age. Yet I still insisted we do this, just because I cared about what the press would write and say. And now y-you're..." I couldn't get myself to say that word out loud. I sniffed. "This is all my fault."

Klarise, despite all the pain she was in, tilted her head toward me and grinned from what's left of her pale face. "It's not your fault."

And then she went back to pushing, whatever energy she still had.

I felt Cameron's hand on my shoulder. But at that moment, I didn't even acknowledge what he had done to me and why I was going to be forever mad with him. Something about getting a taste of the person you love's death starts to numb you from everything else. And only them making it alive mattered

He offered me a soft smile. "Don't blame yourself for this. She's going to be okay."

I nodded, trying to stop crying and contain my trembling hands.

When Dr. Fernandez finally arrived and took over us calmly, we still stayed on the sides at all times. She was talking and saying things, while my body did as whenever she bothered to instruct us.

So many thoughts came and went in those hours that dragged on like infinity.

I thought, This baby is killing her. It's killing the love of my life.

"I-I can see the head!" Cameron shrieked.

Klarise bent her neck up to see anything, a tiny smile drawing up her lips.

So much water and...was that blood?

"On the count of three, push as hard as you can," Dr. Fernandez said to Klarise.

I moved even closer to Klarise, taking her left hand and clasping it together in mine. I brought it to my lips and left it there near my forehead as I said silent prayers. I closed my eyes, just so it would lighten a bit of the fear in me to see my Klarise on the rim of death.

And then the loud cry came.

Dr. Fernandez instructed me to go get a clean blanket, but when I didn't move, Cameron went instead.

He came back in the nick of time as Dr. Fernandez was cutting off the last physical connection between this baby and Klarise, the bloody umbilical cord making me almost retch. My vision blurred as my tears overwhelmed my eyes.

When I could get a clear sight again, the baby had already been cleaned off of its bloody mess and was in the blanket; its body so tiny. Klarise was holding it to her chest, nurturing it already even though she barely had a strength left in her. She had lost any color on her face.

She looked up finally, waving Cameron and I over. I felt a little too stoked and shocked to move, so Cameron went forward.

He was smiling as Klarise carefully handed it to him. He wiggled his fingers at it, which was still wailing and crying, my eardrums exploding. But he looked like he barely noticed as he made faces at it. He didn't even realize that it probably couldn't see a thing.

It was obvious then that whatever objections he had before about this, he was going to take part in this baby's life. And I hated to admit it then, but he looked like he was going to be a great father. I had a short yet long vision of him holding the baby's hand and going through each stage of its possible life: toddler years, elementary, middle school, high school, college, and then adulthood. He was going to be there for every single one of them. He was going to be good at it. He was going to be loving. He was going to be everything possible for it.

Tears continuously streamed down my face.

"Maeve," Klarise looked at me as Cameron handed the baby back to her. Her voice sounded more like a croak. Her beautiful voice that had drawn me to her since the start was now raspy and broken.

My shoulders heaved up and down as I tried to contain my sobs.

She waved me over again, and this time, I stepped forward and bent down to where she was laying. Where she was holding it in her arms, a spell of protection.

She handed it to me, and even though I wasn't ready, I held it steadily in my arms. Then saw the face of this new creature that has emerged.

It had hair. Hair. A wave and a bit of brownish hair flowing on its delicate head. I will always remember how it had smelled, a smell that I couldn't describe with anything else other than the word: baby. A comforting scent.

It was like I wasn't even thinking as I stopped crying and grinned, bringing her to my face and nudging my nose gently back and forth between her face. And surprisingly, for the first ten minutes since she has come out to this world, her crying quieted and calmed. At the same time my own tears stopped.

"She looks just like you, doesn't she?" Klarise whispered from next to me, pecking me on the cheek as this whole room watched this baby's every action.

I brushed my finger on her bare body, observing the tiny bit of her eyes that I could get which were a brownish color that I could almost recognize as my own. It was weird, because she suddenly barley resembled anything of Cameron but me. Only me.

My smile grew wider as I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Have you guys thought of a name yet?" Dr. Fernandez quietly settled close next to us as Klarise and I—even Cameron—huddled nearer and shared our warmth toward the baby.

Klarise glanced up from the baby at me and Cameron. "I want to name her after my grandmother."

Cameron made a silly face at the baby while I said to Klarise: "You've never told me your grandmother's name before."

She gave me a bit of a teasing smile as her attention went back to the baby again, and she kissed her on the cheek.

"It's Isabella."