The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

85

I STARTED TO TALK WITH Juno like I hadn't been avoiding him for more than a month. That was the best way to go at things with him, Klarise informed me, just pretend nothing strange had happened and everything was the same.

I wanted to disagree, at least that was what had popped behind my mouth and ready to be let out when she casually threw those words at me like, again, we were dealing with some business instead of playing at hands with someone's feelings. But then again, what could I do? And wouldn't have this been easier for me too? Pretend everything's normal? Wasn't that what I had always done, gone about things like they were always the same? So what's different now? Obviously, a lot had been different and—I stopped there, and had nodded simply as she gave me a good luck kiss on the cheek before I left her apartment.

There was a quiet part of town—or New York, Manhattan—that all famous people seemed to have a secret knowledge of and that is shared around and around in a way that no one else outside our circle would know. Just a place where, even us, could have a kind of calm and peace without having to travel too far.

And in this part of the town, that's where I met up with Juno, in a small coffee shop. Though this place did have peace, it was rather the kind where it fell more towards sketchy and quiet than what I'd call a "perfect vacation weekend" spot as some might want to name it. The food and drinks were horrible, the people were either mostly rude or just didn't care about anything around them. You'd find cigarettes and broken glass bottles littered all over the streets, and in the few shops that you might actually find opened. And there was always a grayness to this part of the world that's hidden away from the life people like me had been so used to living. I guess maybe this is also why not many people thought this was a place famous people or celebrities came to.

"I'll take a cappuccino," Juno says to the waitress/maker/owner of this place. The girl doesn't even look at him while she scrolls through her phone, and Juno awkwardly coughs into his fist to try to fill in the quietness of the whole shop. We were the only customers. He then glances at me, forcing up a smile. "What about you? My treat."

To be honest, I didn't really want anything. "I'll just take the same."

He nodded, calling to the girl again. She finally looks up from her phone, rolled her eyes, and got to making at the half-broken looking coffee machine. I could hear her scoff under her breath like this was a waste of time.

When he turned his attention back to me, I was the first to speak. "How are you anyways? I'm sorry I haven't kept in contact much recently. I was a bit busy."

"Oh, no no, please don't be. I know how busy you are. I must've been a pain, trying to contact you all throughout this month, haven't I?" He laughed at himself, "But anyways, yeah, I'm good. You?" His face was everything but calculating, eyes curved and a grin so wide and sincere you can get lost in it almost. Did he even doubt that something had been up? Was he seriously that ignorant?

Instead of playing the smiles Klarise had wanted me to do, I didn't do that. Our cappuccinos came, except it smelled funny and had a weird look to it. I didn't take a sip, just nursing it around my lips and hands. All the while Juno, his face unable to hide his grimace, drank half the cup.

And after that, I get straight to the point of what I wanted to ask. Something Klarise probably would not have liked.

"Do you really love her?"

I know my question startles him, because a bit of the black liquid in his cup spilled and stained his hand. Good thing the drink wasn't hot. He looked around, trying to find a napkin. It was hopeless, the shop didn't even have a name sign. I pulled out a packet of tissues from my purse and handed him it. He thanked me and wiped at the small mess.

When he's done, he's laughing and shaking his head at himself. "Sorry about that, god knows what's wrong with me." He folds the used napkin, now with brown stains on it, and tucks it in his pocket, seeing that there was no trash can in sight. He looked up at me, his smile half with embarrassment of himself. "What was it you asked?"

And I was really wondering, right then, as I just stared at him, without bothering to use a fake smile on him or acting, just my resting face; what is wrong with us? What was wrong with me and Klarise? Why were we doing this? Juno smiled nervously, waiting for me to respond. And it must've been getting weird, but I wanted to know still, if maybe I could get him out of this mess before it was too late. Even if I was going everything against Klarise's wants.

"Do you love her?" I repeated again, but this time there was a tinge of edge to my voice. "Klarise. Do you love Klarise?"

His nervousness seemed to have dropped, and all came after was ease. He had a facileness to him as the corners of his lips pulled toward his ears. Filled with just a simplicity of loving someone, nothing else than that. He eyes me, and it seemed to be like he was saying: Are you kidding? Of course I do.

I lowered my face, and then I laughed. "You do. You really love her."

"I feel like I found the one. She's the one. I hope this isn't too crazy but I think I...."

His voice grows quieter, but not because he was shy. More like because it was some kind of small wish that he holds between himself and Klarise. A secret promise. I knew that feeling all too well, having experienced it with the very same person. Except it wasn't the kind where we shared together, while I thought the whole time during those months we met that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. All the time I thought that, she had been scared and wanted nothing more than to hide me away with the other half of her. That was a long time ago, yet suddenly it felt like it was yesterday; as here we were, doing the exact same thing again.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Juno finished, and I wanted to both scream at something and pull him towards me to hug him. To do something, to have some kind of control over what was happening again.

As my thoughts whirled, I hadn't noticed what was physically happening to me outside. One drop of water rained onto the table. And then another drop after that. Then another. I looked up, and Juno was frantically grabbing a tissue from the packet I had given him.

"Oh no, did I say something wrong?"

I sniffed, wiping my face with the back of my hand. Taking it away, I gawked for a second at the sticky water on my hand, then feeling the dampness on my cheek. I don't look at Juno, because I couldn't, but I took his offered tissue and got up from our seats. Taking my wallet out, I put up enough cash to pay for both our drinks on the table.

I can hear him stuttering about how he was supposed to pay, but the girl was already taking my cash. She didn't even bother to give the changes, except I wasn't planning on getting any anyway.

"Juno," I finally managed to pull my eyes up, look back at him while his whole face told me that he must've done something wrong and was trying to make up for it. I took in a deep breath, "You're a good person."

He looked puzzled, standing there and waiting for me to say more. But I was already opening the door to the outside world, getting out my car keys as I wiped my face with the tissue he gave me.

I wanted to stop this then. But in that timing when I asked him that question, his response, the way he said it, the way he looked all the while answering me and thinking I was nothing more than a friend to Klarise...I realized, it wasn't that easy to break someone's heart when they're so in love. Even if it is the right thing to do. I...

I wasn't strong enough to be the better person. And I guess, as time went on, I was starting to see that I couldn't be the bigger person most of the time.