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THE NURSE ANNA SOMEHOW FOUND out about us leaving and needing a medical team. I had already made arrangements and everything was all set but she came last minute, a day before we were set to leave.

"Can I come?"

I had to ask her to repeat herself to see if I really heard what she said.

Anna is young. She has a good career ahead of her. She seemed very brain damaged though, which I was realizing as she asked to come on this journey with us which will not benefit her.

"You're kidding."

"No." Her look reads a bold You-Can't-Stop-Me-Once-I've-Made-Up-My-Mind kind of look. Klarise and I used to have that same stubbornness when we were that age. I knew it well.

I sighed. "We're going to some island with little efficiency and though the pay I can offer is decent you have to realize that you're throwing your life and career away if you come."

"I know."

I pause, cross my arms above my chest and stare at her. I wait. She doesn't budge. I sigh again. What could I do? I was around like her years ago, wasn't I?

"If you change your mind during this, I'll always order a flight for you to leave." I say, and the moment I do she smiles and embraces me with a tight and too personal hug. I'm surprised and taken back at this friendliness.

"Thank you so much!" I'm hesitant, but I feel the energy of kindness from her wrap around my heart. I hug her back.

"May I ask you why though?"

She pulls back a little, frowning at my question. "What do you mean?"

"Why you'd want to accompany us."

She stares at me funny.

I wonder if this girl watches any TV or social media, because every time she sees me, instead of all the other nurses and people who meet me, her eyes don't show me any special treatment for a star. She sees me as a normal person. No, she sees me as someone who needs kindness and when no one else here in this hospital offered it other than my own family, she lended that hand. Still though, her kindness can't stretch that far, can it?

Anna smiles at me, almost laughing like I was crazy for asking.

"I just want to come. I don't think my heart can rest until I know you and your partner would be okay."

I stared at her agape.

I've never told her about my relationship with Klarise. But she somehow knew, and no trace of disgust or surprise was on her face.


THE COMMUNITY OF KALAUPAPA from Molokai welcomed us with open arms. They're a small community that lives there, though they weren't crazy rich, they offered us things with wide smiles that made me see humanity in a different way.

Flowers patterned into necklaces, food, beads, you name it. They even rushed to help us with our things, leading us to where we were going to stay.

Klarise had looked up at me from her wheelchair as we followed the people, and her face was that of mine: relief.

"I'm glad we came here," she said.

I nodded, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. In front of us was Jackson and Sarah who strode easily forward, looking around at the view which was surrounded by palm trees and sunshine. The skies are a light blue, the air a gentle breeze that lifted my sleeves once in a while. It was nice. It was comfortable. It was perfect.

Klarise takes my hand and holds it in her lap. We don't care anymore who sees us this way. There was no press here, but even if there was, it didn't matter to her. Even with the people around us who stared at us new arrivals with curiosity, they didn't seem to care that Klarise and I were lovers.

"Paradise," I said. "This is what paradise is."

Klarise laughed. "You might be right this time."

—————

Here, I didn't have to think about the arrangements for Cameron's things and money.

His parents argued with my lawyer about how I didn't deserve to inherit Cameron's will which he had left to me. The argument went back and forth until I couldn't take it anymore. I told them: "You can take it, I don't care. It wasn't his money that I loved him for anyways." And right before leaving these two people who I hoped to never see again, I added; "he deserved parents better than you guys." They were furious, but they took the money faster than their hands could grab. Funny. They had enough money to last them forever, and so did I. But it seemed in their eyes that the last of their son's importance was the money he had left. How they deserved it and had every right to claim it. Did they even shed a tear when they learned he died? Did they even care? Was Cameron only ever just an object and face to them? Someone who brought them pride and all, but if he messed up one bit, they'll turn their back?

I wished with my whole heart that Cameron is somewhere better, where he couldn't see the true core of the parents he sacrificed his happiness for.

On this island, my headaches about Cameron faded. Here, I could forget. If only for a little, it was worth it.

"I told Jackson about us," Klarise told me on the second day we arrived. I was fixing us some breakfast while Anna did the preparations and routines on Klarise which maintained her health as best as it could.

I turned around with the pan still in my hand, egg sizzling. "You did? What did he say?"

I didn't care, I said that already. But for some reason I was scared. Scared that Jackson didn't accept. The fear of no acceptance surrounded our whole relationship for most of our lives and now—

"It's okay, Maeve, it's okay." Heavy feelings lay on my chest.

Anna quickly finishes her business and leaves us with a smile. Klarise coughs, her eyes tired. But as tired as she was, she smiles.

"He loves me for me. It won't ever matter to him. I don't know why I didn't realize that sooner."

I put the pan down and take off my apron. I walk over to her, get on my knees, and take her hands. I bow my head down on her lap, a blanket covering her legs because she's always cold. She smooths down my hair that's now rough because I haven't cared about my looks since a long time. No salons, no acting. I just wanted to be me for a while. If this version of me was even me.

"We hid for so long, haven't we?"

Her cold fingers brush the back of my neck. I nod.

"I made you do it. All these years, twenty something years ago, I started it. I told you to leave me because I didn't want people seeing us together because it might ruin my career. I told you to leave me because I didn't want my parents to disown me. I told you to hide yourself, to hide us. I did you wrong in so many ways. You always came back. Always stayed. Always forgave me"

I lift my face up. Klarise's face stains with tears.

"Twenty-nine years, Maeve. That's how long we've known each other. Crazy, isn't it? Sometimes it feels like yesterday when we met."

"Yeah."

Klarise lifts up one hand to wipe away the tear that ran down with speed. I squeeze her other hand.

"How have we become like this?" She asks.

"I don't know."

I lay my head back down on her lap. Feel kind of tired.

"Let's start over. Here, as long as we have left, let us make the most of it."

She goes back to brushing my hair out with her fingers. Her touch makes me comforted, sleepy. I close my eyes.

"Hm. Yeah. The most of it."

My body relaxes. I think we both fell asleep there.

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