The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

10

I WAS ABOUT FOURTEEN WHEN I started to go to actual school.

"We've created an identity for you, and now you'll need to make use of it. You can't just suddenly show up to the screen and have no one ever seen you before. So you're going to school. Socialize and make a small name for yourself, be a good girl."

Mr. Wang had said to me one morning, while Adele was smoking a cigarette and giving me that downward look she always gives me.

Adele and Joseph weren't exactly in the best mood with me. You see, the public schools in China aren't free, you pay except it's just cheaper than private schools. And Joseph and Adele had to pay for it, they were not happy with that.

But I ignored the terrible attitude they were giving me, I ignored the room they gave me which is small but suitable. They didn't like me much, but they sure did like to show me off to friends.

School in the city sounded enchanting. There were these uniforms we were given, five sets, two formal sets and three everyday sets. I was excited to start actual school.

When I was starting school, around that time was also when Mr. Wang started to create and build his company. He was looking for more girls while I was going to school. And there was a power to me then, I was his first girl, I was his biggest asset, and I was also the one he spent most time and effort on. I needed to stay that way.

The uniform was actually pretty ugly, too big of a jacket and jogger pants in white and light blue. But once it was on me, I knew I looked good. Sometimes I see Adele peeking at me in a way like she admires me secretly but doesn't want to admit it, and that just really leaves a huge satisfaction. I liked that kind of power I had.

I wasn't the kind of person to get nervous, but on that first day I was.

I remember the teacher introducing me to the class, I stood there, and I held all the eyes. The girls, some of them looked insecure when they saw me, and some just looked like they wanted to be me. The boys, well, they looked like they have never seen a girl before until they saw me.

"This is 孙雪莉 (Sun Xue Li) everyone. She has been homeschooled for the majority of her life, please make her feel welcomed."

It was my first time outside being called that name other than Adele's friends. I was really Sun Xue Li now, and my new identity was becoming true.

Was I made to feel welcomed? Sure, but also, no.

When it was the first in-between break session on that first day, one girl came up to me, dragging a boy with her. The entire time his eyes never left me, first to my face then down my chest. I was uncomfortable, but one thing I've learned about holding your power, your image, is that even when you're uncomfortable, you must hide it. So I sat straighter and smiled at him and the girl, he blushed.

The girl had her arms all over the boy. "Hey, Xue Li." She said that, by not using my family name, as a nickname, like we have been friends ever since. "I'm 王亚兰 (Wang Ya Lan), and this is my boyfriend." Her grip on the boy tightens, and he forces himself to tear his eyes away from me and on her. "Welcome to our school, I hope you like it here."

I smiled at her and the boy. "I hope I do too."

The message was incredibly clear. She didn't want me near her boyfriend, not that I had any intentions anyway.

Wang Ya Lan wasn't a big fan of me throughout the years of high school. But I wasn't the typical person to care much about what she thought. I wasn't about to let some nobody make me feel scared and insecure.

I did make a few friends though, well, I don't exactly know if you can call them friends. But at the time it felt like they were my friends.

We would sit together at lunch, and when it was in-between break session, we would huddle and gossip. Except what they talked about never really interested me.