The Truths Behind the Life of Maeve Sun Lively

111

I CAN SEE THAT JACKSON is curious about how our conversation went as he leads me back to Klarise's room. I'm glad he doesn't ask though, because I know I might flip out if it's even mentioned. I feel so mad, so tired, so exhausted from everything. A tiny part of me is yelling and screaming for me to go back, put aside my pride and problems that came before us so I can help my best friend. I've done that a lot, actually. Ignored and overlooked the issues between us and just stayed beside him. But I can't do it this time. Not this time.

"Sarah and I are going to go out and buy some groceries." Jackson hangs around by the doorway, not going in.

I nod at him, offering the best smile I could. He must see the tears that's still on my face. No matter how hard I've wiped it, I have only left my nose and cheeks red with evidence.

"She's sleeping right now," he adds before handing me a bottle of water. I thank him and he leaves.

Opening the door, I go to sit by the chair that's by the side of her bed.

Her casts make her look small. Her face is bruised a little too, the purple and red color a swollen thing. I brush my fingers on them as light as I could, her skin warm under my fingertips.

I love him, you know.

I shake my head, trying to get Mason's expression and shattered voice as he said it. The look in his eyes was...horrible.

I look back at Klarise, her sleeping form. A cold laugh finds its way out of me.

I'll look exactly like Mason when Klarise dies, I thought.

For the next ten minutes, I cry silently. My two hands grasp tightly around Klarise's.

I pull my head up to look at her. She's sleeping like nothing is wrong. We've told her Cameron died, trying to ease the news to her, but the most reaction we got was a blink. That was all. She didn't cry, didn't do anything. Just stared. The doctors said there is no brain damage of anything even though the tumor is occupying her head. The best answer to her way of acting was that she was refusing to talk. I asked why, but there wasn't an answer.

I lean my head back down, staring off at the bed sheets, my tears dropping one by one onto them.

"Just say something, Klarise. Say anything. React. Yell. Scream. Anything. I can't do this anymore. I need you right now. Come back, please."

She's dead quiet. Sleeping.

"Cameron is dead. Mason just came back. I'm mad at him. I told him to go but he wouldn't. I just came back from seeing him and I...I can't forgive him for leaving."

Nothing.

"The press is crazy loud in the lobby. The paparazzis have been hogging there for days, snapping pictures in case any of us show up. It's insane. If I was twenty still, you would definitely know how much I crave for that fame and attention." I sighed, thinking back to the young us. Young me. "What happened? I don't know. Something changed. None of the money, the press, any of that matters. Why did we care so much? You and I, Cameron, all of us. We cared so much about what everyone thought and tried so hard to hide ourselves. I don't get why we did all that. For what exactly?"

My vision blurs so hard with the unwept tears overlapping everywhere.

"I can't believe you have cancer. Why didn't we catch it sooner? Why does it have to end this way? I don't get it. I don't get any of it."

I wait, but nothing comes. My heart breaks more.

"Say something, Klarise." My voice falls away when my demand is unanswered.

Maybe this is it. Cameron dies. Mason leaves again. And now, Klarise is going to die within a year. And within this last year, she won't talk, won't react, won't acknowledge me. I laugh. My laugh turns to pity sobs. How has my life become of this? I kept asking myself. How? Why? I try not to think too hard of it, but my mind wanders there. What were his last thoughts before dying? What happened in that car crash? What flashed through Cameron's head when the car got smashed to pieces?

Ah, this will be how it is, I see. No more, no more. I will live with this. I will live with my own lover denying me, not telling me anything. And it'll all be my punishment. I will savor my memories with them from the past as honey. I will—

A hand touches my bent head. It's a touch I know so well.

I look up, and Klarise's small hand is now beside my cheek. My eyes widen. I stare at her, tears still falling off my face.

"You're so stupid, Maeve."

She rubs away my tears with her thumb, a tiny smile on her face.